STAN'S SOAPBOX

WANNA TRADE ME FOR THIS COMIC?

2009-02-03T13:45:00.004-05:00

ITEM! Thanks to Marvel Editor Tom Breevort, not to mention my own legendary generosity, you can now trade me for the pictured comic, complete with a certifiably authentic autograph from Yours Truly! I kid you not, bright-eyed one! Haul your tremblin’ web-browser over to Titanic Tom’s blog at Marvel.com and see how you can trade comics with Tom, your Uncle Stanley, and a massive multitude other Merry Marvel Madmen and Mavens — all to benefit the Hero Initiative! You can improve your comic book collection and your cosmic karma all in one fell swoop. Who says this isn’t the Marvel Age of Aligning Personal Self Interest with the Greater Good? Get thee hence for all the details...

Excelsior!

Smiley

SNICKETY-SNICK! IT'S CAMEO TIME!

2009-02-02T11:42:00.004-05:00

ITEM! Hey there, Heroes! If you think it’s easy keeping you Manic Ones informed via this utterly under-the-radar, under-my-lawyer’s-nose blog — you’re right! There’s been a lot going on lately, not the least of which is Yours Truly filming his cataclysmic cameo for X-Men Origins: Wolverine! As you probably already know, though the majority of the movie was shot in merry ol’ land of Oz, reshoots have been taking place up in Vancouver. And Grandma Lieber’s favorite grandson was there acting it up in what is sure to be my best cameo this side of a Hugh Hefner wannabe. Obviously I can’t give away all the juicy details now... that’ll have to wait until after Fox’s check has cleared my bank account. But stay tuned, True Believers! There's more to come on this...

Excelsior!

Smiley

THE AXEMAN COMETH

2009-01-19T12:47:00.007-05:00

ITEM! It’s not everyday that your ol’ Uncle Stanley gets to keep on truckin’ with the likes of George Lucas, Devo, and Seth Green. Well okay... Seth Green would wash my Benz if I let him... but you know what I mean. What do all of the above and Yours Truly have in common, you ask? Why, we were all invited to design custom Gibson guitars for the upcoming Phoenix Guitar Gala & Carnaval Fundraiser, that’s what, sunshine! Click thee here for the whole story.

And just in case you can’t make the transcontinental trek to the Haus Fortuna in Petaluma, Cali-forn-i-ay (where the guitar designed by mois with a little help from Irving Forbush III) is displayed, here’s a pic to print out and frame for your very own, pilgrims! Why did I use a four-necked guitar you ask? Because that was the only way to get my smilin’ face as life-size and lifelike as possible. I may be accused of many things, but disappointing my adoring public will never be on the list!

Excelsior!

Smiley

CAN YOU SEE WHAT I'M UP AGAINST?

2009-01-15T10:36:00.006-05:00

ITEM! Under the category of misleading misprints comes this one from Brit newspaper The Guardian: “Stan Lee ‘to create world’s first gay superhero’.” Waitwhowhatwhere? I swear to Odin this stuff happens to me all the time. What the reporter (and I use the term loosely here) was trying to write a story about is my upcoming turn as executive producer on the cable TV adaptation of Perry Moore’s excellent novel, Hero. A novel that Mr. Moore wrote, by-the-by, in specific response to Marvel’s portrayal of the death of the real first openly gay superhero, Northstar. Not that’s there’s anything wrong with that.

I know that being misrepresented by the press is just the price you pay when you’re as famous, fabulous, and most of all modest, as Yours Truly is, but wallopin’ web-snappers! Plus, as the more sagacious among you already know, “executive producer” is just Hollywood speak for “sit down and shut up while we attach your name to this project to get studio funding behind it.” Goodness gracious, me. If your Uncle Stanley was in any way connected creatively with this project, I’d probably have Thom Creed team up with Stripperella after a patented Stan Lee opening scene where the two heroes mistook each other for super villains and slugged it out for about 10 minutes. While spouting a shakespearian soliloquy. In a mud wrestling pit. With Bruce Campbell as the referee. Now THAT would be entertainment, folks!

Excelsior!

Smiley

NICK FURY IS SAMUEL L. JACKSON

2009-01-14T14:32:00.007-05:00

ITEM! You can all relax about this story in yesterday’s L.A. Times, Frantic Ones. Yours Truly just got off the phone with Samuel “Oh I’m Sorry Did I Break Your Concentration” Jackson and everything’s going to be fine, fine, fine. Not to blow his cover, but you Marvelites deserve to know that Sam will absolutely end up playing S.H.I.E.L.D. head honcho Nick Fury in Iron Man 2 and The Avengers movie if Jon “Fan Fave” Favreau and your Uncle Stanley have anything to say about it. Sammy and his agent are just playing a little hardball right now with Marvel Studios Chairman David Maisel, that’s all. Would you expect anything less from Sam the Man? Relax. This is just how things are done here in Tinsel-Town. I do the same thing myself whenever it’s time to negotiate the fee for my next cameo role, or as I like to call them, “Joanie’s next Benz.” ‘Nuff Said!

Excelsior!

Smiley

THE KIRBY ALPHABET

2009-01-13T10:42:00.009-05:00

ITEM! This Merry Marvel Meme has already been all over the Internets and the Google, but you know what they say — better late than clever. Just in case you missed it, we here in Soapboxland proudly present the following for your cultural edification and comical education: Brit cartoonist Roger Langridge’s The Kirby Alphabet (just click on the image below for a Galactus-sized view). Rollickin’ Roger is primarily known for his winsome webcomic, The Hotel Fred, which you can check out right here. Enjoy it, Marvel Mavens!

Excelsior!

Smiley

CITY OF HEROES NOW FOR PC AND MAC

2009-01-09T13:38:00.008-05:00

ITEM! Wowsir! The apple of my computer eye — my adopted great-grandson Irving Forbush III — just brought this game to my octogenarian attention. Though your ol’ Uncle Stanley has never played one of these Marvelously Majestic Online Role-playing Games before, even I have to admit that NCsoft’s City of Heroes is a fantastic game. Read all about it here. And now apparently it’s available on both PC and Mac! That means that Yours Truly can play it at the POW! offices on my Dell, or on the road using the Macbook Pro that Honest Irv has been jamming down my throat these past few months. So if you’re a City of Heroes player and see Excelsior-Man go flying by in his pressed black slacks, prescription shades and windbreaker, be sure and wave! Meantime, here’s an online commercial announcing the new Mac version that’s a razor-sharp parody of Apple’s famous “I’m a PC, and I’m a Mac” commercials. Now why hasn’t anyone else ever thought of that before?

Excelsior!

Smiley

GALACTUS — CLEAN & SOBER IN L.A.

2009-01-07T12:49:00.015-05:00

ITEM! As you may recall from previous Soapbox soliloquies here and here, the Big G has fallen on some heinously hard times over the last few years. Well, guess what, Heroes? It looks like the World Devourer is finally getting back up on his feet!

Last week Joanie and I decided to pull over and and grab a bite at a Southern Californian Steak ‘n Shake and lo-and-behold, who do you think greeted us at the door as the brand new assistant day shift manager? If you guessed ol’ Purple Boots, then move yourself to the head of the class, pilgrim! As he later explained while sitting with us, it seems that Galactus has gotten himself cleaned up and has entered a 12-Step program for planet-eating addicts. The G-Man said it had been over six months since he’d eaten so much as a comet, moon or planetoid, and that the last time he’d had a craving he settled for a Steak ‘n Shake triple-decker with fries and a malted instead! I have to say that he looked really good, though he was still sporting a bit of a Flintstone four o’clock shadow (see pics below).

After lunch, Joanie wished him well with his recovery, and Galactus waved us a gracious good-bye and said that if he slipped, we’d be the first to know about it. Happy Trails Big Guy!

Excelsior!

Smiley

WELL HERE'S YOUR BASIC TROUBLE RIGHT HERE...

2009-01-05T12:31:00.010-05:00

THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS SNUBS HOWARD THE DUCK

2008-12-31T12:16:00.006-05:00

ITEM! Every year the Library of Congress and the National Film Registry select several movies to be preserved in their air-tight archives for all eternity. The criteria is that a film be "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant." This year, several genre films were added, including James Cameron’s The Terminator, James Whales’ classic 1933 version of The Invisible Man, and even the Ray Harryhausen tour-de-force The 7th Voyage of Sinbad.

Unbelievably though, there’s still no love for the very first Marvel Movie ever — Howard the Duck. Although the movie tanked at the box office when first released, it’s gone on to become a cult classic. And you don’t get much more “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant” than a movie about the love between a wayfaring water fowl and Lea Thompson! What can you, the very model of a Modern Merry Marvelite, do to address this grave injustice you ask? Your Fearless Leader is here to help! Just go directly to the National Film Registry’s website and nominate the Master of Quack Fu for inclusion in the archives for 2009! What’s that you say? Some of the more culturally deprived among you have never even seen the Howard the Duck movie? Well say no more, oh lost and lonely pilgrim of the cinematic wastelands! I'm here for you! You can watch the entire movie right here at the ol’ Soapbox! Who says this isn’t the Marvel Age of instant gratification?

Excelsior!

Smiley

SLING US A WEB, YOU'RE THE SPIDER-MAN

2008-12-30T12:05:00.004-05:00

ITEM! As some Fearless Front Facers may recall, there was a bit of a controversy surrounding the scoring of the Spider-Man 2 movie. Daring Danny Elfman turned in his sizzling score and the producers were (for some bizarre reason) dissatisfied with parts of it and brought in Christopher Young and John Debney to re-score select scenes... much to the chagrin of the Elfman. What you may NOT know is that Misters Young and Debney were not the only alternative musical artists solicited to submit work for the new score.

Many thanks to faithful MMMS member-in-good-standing Wild Bill Gladman over at ComicRelated.com for sending this tidbit in to the ol’ Soapbox! Submitted for your approval is Weird Al Yankovic’s ultimately rejected opening theme for Spider-Man 2. According to Bill, it’s kinda like what you’d get if Billy Joel was bitten by a radioactive accordion. Enjoy!

Excelsior!

Smiley

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

2008-12-29T12:05:00.002-05:00

ITEM! I know... I know. It may seem a tad bit immodest of your ol’ Uncle Stan to be wishing himself a happy birthday, but what the hey! One of the great things about getting to be my age is you can pretty much do as you please and no one says boo to you about it! The Spider-Phone was practically ringing off the wall yesterday with birthday well-wishers. Well technically, it was ringing off my belt clip, but you get the idea. As I said to Madcap Mark Evanier, “When 86 years old you reach, look as good you will not!” Late last night Marvel Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada even called to wish me a happy-happy. Man-alive! I guess it’s time to get my number changed again.

Excelsior!

Smiley

MARVEL/DC: THE MOVIE!

2008-12-15T14:03:00.000-05:00

ITEM! As discerning Marvelites already know, we here in Soapboxland regularly feature videos from YouToober ItsJustSomeRandomGuy... and today is no exception! This new Marvel/DC “After Hours” series of his has really got it all. It’s got pathos, it’s got plot, it’s got Yours Truly in a dual cameo playing both myself and a Life Model Decoy copy of the Smilin’ One. I gotta get Marvel Studios brand spankin’ new COO Tim Conners to hire this guy! These videos could serve as the animatics of the next great Merry Marvel Movie franchise... which frankly would really cut down on the cost of hiring a bunch of high-salaried, high-maintenance screenwriters. Hoo-hah! In the meantime, enjoy!

Excelsior!

Smiley

MIGHTY MARVEL MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY

2008-12-08T13:32:00.007-05:00

ITEM! Yup, there’s nothing like surprising your employees first thing Monday morning with a few motivational posters strategically placed about the office space. And nothing bucks up morale like posters featuring your Fearless Leader’s smiling face! These motivational monographs aren’t just for the entertainment lawyers and media agents working with me here at POW! Entertainment, by-the-by. Feel free to print ‘em out and post ‘em around your own workspace. WARNING: Uncle Stan’s Marvelous Motivational Posters have been shown to cause dizziness, nausea, and brain tumors in laboratory mice, and may not be safe for children under 12, if pregnant, or if you have a history of middling-to-good taste. Blog visits over four hours are not normal, and you should consult a physician if refreshes persist. Enjoy!

Excelsior!

Smiley

CRY COMICS — CRY HAVOC!

2008-12-05T12:33:00.008-05:00

ITEM! It seems that the comics industry is in peril, and every Wednesday is turning into “Black Wednesday” as the sales figures continue to slowly decline. For a comprehensive compendium of this week’s frantic fallout, go see this story over at Heidi MacDonald’s The Beat blog. Things look dire indeed. One might be inclined to ask at this point, whither comic books?

Don’t you believe it, Fearless Ones! Take it from my octogenarian outlook. The comics industry has struggled before and folks have been predicting its imminent demise starting all the way back in the early 50s (thank you, Dr. Fredric “Rabble Rouser” Wertham). The only difference between then and now are the miles on the odometer, baby.

Are there fundamental problems in creative content and distribution channels that need addressing? Absolutely! Has the game changed almost entirely with the introduction of new technologies and new digital media? You bet’cha! But is it really the end of serialized graphic storytelling as we know it? Not on your life, pilgrim! The comics industry isn’t any different from the auto industry, the banking system or the housing market. The comics have just got to get with the times and figure out how to best take advantage of the new media opportunities and stop trying to fight an Information Age battle with last century’s editorial tanks and planes.

You know, it’s times like these that I really miss Jolly Jack Kirby. He had a prescient practice of prophesying these portents and omens way before the rest of us caught up to the future. For example, Jack foretold the coming of graphic novels and their sale in chain bookstores decades before the practice became commonplace. If he was here with us now, he’d probably just rattle off the entire solution to the industry’s current problems over a turkey and gravy sandwich at lunch! Still, there’s a solution out there. All we have to do as an industry is find it. So keep the home fires burning, True Believers. And until Joe Quesada reveals that Aunt May is secretly a Skrull agent, keep Making Yours Marvel!

Excelsior!

Smiley

MEET GENE COLAN LIVE AND IN-PERSON!

2008-12-04T19:38:00.003-05:00

ITEM! That’s right, Frantic Ones! This is your chance to meet one of the artful architects of the Marvel Age of Comics live and in-person! Where-oh-where can one be granted an audience with Gentleman Gene Colan you ask? Why, at Lee’s Comics in Mountain View, Californ-i-ay on Saturday, December 6 from 2:00-4:00 p.m... that’s where! And if you’ve never ever set foot inside this proud winner of the first-ever Excelsior Award for Comic Shop Excellence, then this is your chance to correct the mistake of a lifetime! For details and up-to-the-minute information, just go to Lee’s Comics website and enjoy web-browsing at the website of a comic shop so hip, slick and cool that only Alex Ross could have designed their logo! I kid you not. So what are you waiting for? Latverian New Year? Gas up the car or buy a plane ticket and get thee to this earnest event! You’ll be glad you did!

Excelsior!

Smiley

FACE IT BLOCKHEAD, YOU JUST HIT THE JACKPOT!

2008-12-03T12:00:00.003-05:00

ITEM! Good grief! Just when you thought it was safe to fly a kite past the kite-eating trees — here comes Boisterous Brit artist JDH with his manic mash-ups of the Peanuts gang and ol’ Merry Marvel! Believe me when I tell you gang, it’s worth clicking on this link just to see Snoopy going down in flames atop his doghouse screaming, “Curse you, Baron Zemo!” Submitted herein for your approval is a mere smattering of the Peanuts-covered goodness that awaits you here. Get you appetite whetted here, then go and check out the funniest toons this side of Doc Doom’s doodle pad! Tell ‘em your Uncle Stanley sent yah!

Excelsior!

Smiley

THOR #600 WRITTEN BY YOU-KNOW-WHO!

2008-12-02T13:52:00.005-05:00

ITEM! Here it is — the big news you’ve been waiting on. You see, a few months back Marvel approached me about scripting the special anniversary ish of Thor #600. The only problem with that is the monolithic pile of other writing projects I have sitting on my now creaking desk. I had a similar problem back in the late 50s and early 60s trying to single-handedly write 10-12 issues per month for Mighty Marvel. Of course, the eventual solution to this problem resulted in the invention of the famous “Marvel Method,” by which process I would merely type up a short synopsis or have a brief phone confab with the artist, let ‘em rip out around 24 pages of serialized graphic continuity, and then go in and dialogue and caption the pencilled art. And the results, as they say, spoke for themselves! Manic Marvel Magic!

These days between studio first-look projects and other obligations, I don’t even begin to have the time for even that participate process. Well as William Shakespeare once said, “Needs must as the devil drives.” And so, without further ado, your ol’ Uncle Stanley introduces you to his latest, greatest writing method: the “Marvel Marvel Method!” For Thor #600, Yours Truly had a quick phone conference with regular Thor scripter Michael J. Straczynski, and voila! Mr. Babylon-5 did all the rest of the literary heavy lifting together with award-winning artist Olivier Colpel and David Aja. You can read all about the project right here!

If this works out, I may try to refine the process even further, eventually reducing my own workload to just signing my name to the comic. Grandma Leiber always said, “Do what you do best.” I say thee Yay!

Excelsior!

Smiley

I'M A MARVEL... AND I'M A DC: PARENTAL ADVICE EDITION

2008-12-01T17:05:00.004-05:00

ITEM! Hey there, heroes! For those still getting over a bad case of PTSD (Post Turkey Stress Disorder), here's another installment of YouToober ItsJustSomeRandomGuy's I'm a Marvel... and I'm a DC series. Everyone here in Soapboxland, from Yours Truly to bouncing baby Irving Forbush IV, just love this guy's cavortin' comedic clips. In this episode, Spidey and Stupes get some unexpected parental advice from beyond the grave. 'Nuff Said!

Excelsior!

Smiley

HAPPY TURKEY DAY!

2008-11-27T00:06:00.000-05:00

A BRIEF NON-HISTORY OF THE NO-PRIZE

2008-11-26T11:32:00.005-05:00

ITEM! As a rigorous reader recently pointed out, even an eagle-eyed editor such as Yours Truly has committed many a typographic misfire to the printed page. I called Bruce Banner “Bob” in so many early ishes of Marvel Comics we eventually just up and officially changed the poor man’s name to Robert Bruce Banner! And of course, there was the time I had Doc Ock call Spider-Man “Super-Man.” (The Amazing Spider-Man #3, July 1963). Say what you will, that hyphen probably saved us a lawsuit!

Ever intelligent and insightful, our readers were always quick to point out our editorial mishaps and continuity gaffes. Thus was invented the legendary No-Prize! First announced in Fantastic Four #26 (May 1964) and awarded for the first time ever in FF #31 (Oct. 1964), these essentially empty envelopes eventually became so popular that we had to tighten the requirements for receiving one! Just finding one of my memory-impaired mistakes (which let’s face it, is like shooting dish in a barrel) was no longer enough to qualify. One had to demonstrate or perform “Meritorious Service to the Cause of Marveldom!” Many were called, but only the lucky few were served!

So there you have it. The proud No-Prize tradition continued off-and-on after your Uncle Stan went out West, and even continues today in digital form via Marvel Editor Tom Brevoort. Is it just me, or does Tom’s name sound just like it came straight from a Tales to Astonish monster story? “I Challenged Brevoort, the Editor from Outer Space!” But I digress. If you want to learn more, Honest Irv has embedded one a’ those YouToobs deals below with more info on No-Prizes than you can shake a Groot at! Enjoy!

Excelsior!

Smiley

STAN'S SOAPBOX: THE COLLECTION!

2008-11-25T12:38:00.016-05:00

ITEM! Just in case you’ve been hiding in a cave in Outer Latveria (you know, a really plush cave with electricity and broadband access), I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you that The Hero Initiative’s latest book, Stan’s Soapbox: The Collection, is now at your local comic book shop. A cavortin’ collection of every single Stan’s Soapbox written by Yours Truly from 1967-1980, this book contains over 14 years and 46,000 words of literary excellence that you can read, rhapsodize with, and regurgitate to your friends. And all profits from sales of this book benefit the fine work done on behalf of comic creators by The Hero Initiative. I’ll even let you in on a little secret. The book doesn’t actually reprint every single Stan’s Soapbox written by Yours Truly.

You see, there was one Soapbox that only appeared in bi-monthly mags printed in 1968 that someone must’ve missed — or given it's content — decided to intentionally omit. Either way, in order for you to truly complete your Stan's Soapbox collection, the Smilin’ One presents for your review and probable derision, the long lost Stan’s Soapbox. Enjoy it, gang!

Excelsior!

Smiley

ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEDALS

2008-11-24T15:04:00.006-05:00

ITEM! Good news, gang! Your ol’ Uncle Stanley is back from his recent trip to our nation’s capital. I know I’ve been a little out-of-pocket lately, and for that I apologize. I’ve just been busy (as Bachman-Turner Overdrive once said) taking care of business. And Yours Truly wasn’t actually so much busy preparing to receive the 2008 National Medal of Arts from President George W. Bush last week, as I was busy trying to get the ceremony postponed just another eight or nine weeks. Even though I set my brainiest bunch of barristers on the task, it just didn’t work out. Not that I mind getting such a prestigious award from the outgoing President. Heck, if anyone can appreciate someone desperately trying to rehabilitate their legacy after some unfortunate management decisions, it’s mois. It’s just that ever since I saw that picture of Barrack Obama posing in front of the Metropolis, Illinois Superman statue, I’ve wanted to see if I couldn’t entice him into a photo-op with Iron Man or the Incredible Hulk. Though now that I think about it, a billionaire munitions industrialist or a rogue military scientist may not be the best fit for a post-inauguration picture taking session. Maybe Aunt May would go over best with Middle America. I'll have to get to work on that, and on posting more peerless pronouncements and pearls of prefabricated wisdom than you can click a refresh button on! The best is yet to come, pilgrims!

Excelsior!

Smiley

THE BRIDE OF ELECTION DAZE

2008-11-06T15:11:00.002-05:00

ITEM! Now that we’ve made history by electing the first African-American president, it’s time for all us Frantic Ones to get back to work getting this country and the economy back on track again. No shirker of duty, your Uncle Stanley is already hard at work doing his part. That’s right, I’m currently putting together the sequel to my best-selling political humor book Election Daze. If you somehow some-way missed this one you can still order your copy right here. Since my two great humor-loves are placing comedic captions on pictures of political figures and Universal movie monsters, I’ve decided to combine the two for the genre-bending sequel: The Bride of Election Daze! No wistful word on a publication date from the publisher as yet, but here are a few frankly fabulous fragments I’ve been kicking around getting myself all warmed up. Enjoy ‘em, oh Keepers of the Faith!

Excelsior!

Smiley

SPIDER-BABY: ILLEGITIMATE CHILD OF MARVEL CONTINUITY?

2008-11-05T15:16:00.003-05:00

ITEM! Apparently the younger May Parker, daughter of Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson (and future Spider-Girl), is not as dead as Marvel continuity would have us believe. As this recent paparazzi picture reveals, Spidey has at least regained some visitation rights to bouncing baby May. It also looks like Petey's put on a few pounds. Better lay off the wheatcakes for awhile, Parker! What’s left unanswered is the child’s legal status in light of Mephisto reworking the Marvel Universe timeline so that Peter and Mary Jane were never married in the first place. Guess it’s a good thing Baby May’s not a boy!

Last time your Uncle Stanley was paying attention, Baby May was either killed off or in the custody of Alison Mongraine and the Green Goblin back around The Amazing Spider-Man #434 or so. However, the aforementioned paparazzi pic was shot recently in the same apartment building that Tom DeFalco lives in, so maybe he ended up with custody, which all things considered, could actually be for the best. Hey! I just came up with a great new idea for a Merry Marvel sitcom: Baby May growing up with only comic book creators Tom Defalco and Ron Frenz to raise her. We could call it “My Two Spider-Dads”! Better get a call into my attorneys and copyright this idea quick before Queseda gets wind of it and has it cancelled too! Face Front, True Believers!

Excelsior!

Smiley

GET DOWN, AMERICA! GO VOTE!

2008-11-04T12:10:00.001-05:00

ITEM! And speaking of history — today’s the day we Americans make some! Be sure and go out and vote today, pilgrims! Your Uncle Stanley would even tell yah who to go vote for, but unfortunately my name is not on the ballot. Marvel hasn't had a candidate on the ballot since Howard the Duck in '76 (see video below). Yours Truly would’ve made a great candidate too — I’m older than John McCain and my head’s bigger than Barrack Obama’s! Still, either way the election turns out, we’re all going to make history today, and you don’t wanna get left out of that, do yah? After all, you have to vote to maintain your right to complain and to sell books with humorous word balloons drawn over photographs of political figures later, right? So, to quote Howard the Duck, “Get down, America! Go Vote!”

Excelsior!

Smiley

OWN THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT

2008-11-04T11:38:00.003-05:00

ITEM! Hey there, Marvelites! If you’ve got an extra $1.2 million laying around burning a hole in your hot little pockets, then you can buy the house that Jack Kirby built! No, no... not Marvel Comics — the other house that Jack built. It seems that Jolly Jack’s former residence in Thousand Oaks, CA is now up for sale. You can check out the listing here, or see a satellite picture of it here. According to the listing it’s got four bedrooms, three baths and an in-ground pool. No word in the listing if there’s a lower-level entrance to Subterranea or if the house is Negative Zone accessible. Either way, let’s face it, pilgrims. This place should be on the National Register of Historic Sites. Maybe the new owners will arrange for that, and if you’re in the market for a daringly dramatic domicile located in Southern California, that person could be you!

Excelsior!

Smiley

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO STURDY STEVE DITKO

2008-11-04T10:56:00.001-05:00

ITEM! It hardly seems possible that Steve Ditko, the man many consider the co-creator of Spider-Man and Doctor Strange, turned 81-years-young on November 2 — and this is my favorite time of year because of it! This is the time of year when for a month-and-a-half I’m only four years older than Steverino! Good ol' Steve. Even though we’ve been on the outs since my 1999 letter acknowledging his contributions to Spidey’s legend, we here in Soapboxland still wish that Randiest of Randians the happiest of birthdays. May the All-Seeing Eye of Agamotto shine brightly on you, may the Fabulous Flames of Faltine light your way, and may all your birthday presents come wrapped in the Crimson Bands of Cytorrak! ‘Nuff Said!

Excelsior!

Smiley

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, PILGRIMS!

2008-10-31T13:06:00.003-04:00

ITEM! Happy Halloween from all of us here in Soapboxland to all you True Believers, Fearless Face-Fronters, Merry Marvelites, and even the odd Brand Eccher. Be safe, double-check you candy before eating it, and remember to watch out for the occasional rogue super-villain. And be sure to check out Adamant Adam Koford's website for more of his whimsical artwork (like the Galactus cartoon above)! Have a good one, Tigers!

HALLOWEEN HAVOC 2008: STAN LEE READS "THE RAVEN"

2008-10-30T16:26:00.003-04:00

ITEM! It seems that both Yours Truly and my bestest biddy-buddy Kevin Smith both have a fondness for the classics, and you don’t get any classier than The Raven! And I don't mean the Red Raven from Rawhide Kid #38 (Feb. 1964 — Studious Stan). No I mean another literary classic, namely Edgar Alan Poe's The Raven (Jan. 1845 — Still Studious and sometimes even Scholarly Stan). Recently, Kevin asked me to tape a reading of The Raven for his QuickStop Entertainment website and I was more than happy to oblige. Be sure and go over there at quickstopentertainment.com and check out all of the other Halloween goodies, not the least of which are some wacky webisodes from his new movie Zack & Miri Make a Porno. Warning: you have to be 18 or over (which thankfully I am, give-or-take-five-or-six-decades) to watch the Zack & Miri webisodes! Meanwhile, enjoy the following daringly dramatic reading (in two parts)... if you dare! Bwhuahahaha!

Excelsior!

Smiley

JACK KIRBY COLLECTOR #51 OUT AT LAST!

2008-10-29T12:57:00.008-04:00

ITEM! Hey there, Heroes! My favorite tabloid-sized doesn’t-fit-in-a-long-box-or-on-any-shelf-in-my-house comics magazine, John “There’s Always To” Morrow’s Jack Kirby Collector #51, finally came out this week. It features on the cover, oddly enough, one of the many character designs that probably would’ve shown up in the Fantastic Four one day if Uncle Marty hadn’t broken so many promises to Jolly Jack back in the day. You’ll note that Jack even left a whole kaboodle of white space above his name so that Yours Truly could sign his name to it, as I was prone to do. But I digress...

Besides the usual assortment of artful articles and articulate art, including Madcap Mark Evanier’s always insightful Jack F.A.Q.s column (all you ever wanted to know and more about Kirby’s falling out with Brand Ecch Editor Jack Schiff over the Sky Masters syndicated strip), JCK has the best letters column this side of the New York Times. This month Kirby correspondent Angel Gabriele (what a great name for a super heroine... I might have to use that some day) writes in to point out that the house ad that ran in Tales To Astonish #59 (Sept. 1964) probably resulted in the destruction of the original cover art for Hulk #1 (May 1962), and sends in a pic of the original house ad art to show what happened (see below). You can easily tell where the figure of Bruce Banner and most of the Hulk’s clothes were whited-out or pasted-over. Yup, True Believers, now you know one of the reasons why so much of Jack’s original art from those days is no longer around. I know what you’re thinking — the original art to the cover of Hulk #1 would be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars today. Or make a wonderful anonymous donation to the Library of Congress. But sadly, we just didn’t assign any value to the original art back then once the film had been shot for the individual books.

So, for this and zillions of other Kirby insights and in-fights, go get yourself a copy of the Jack Kirby Collector #51 before your local comic book shop runs out, or you can order both print and digital versions directly from Tomorrows Publishing! Tell ‘em your Uncle Stanley sent yah!

Excelsior!

Smiley

HEROES IN RATINGS SLUMP: ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY SUGGESTS SOME FIXES

2008-10-28T13:45:00.005-04:00

ITEM! It seems that my favorite TV show this side of Who Wants To Be a Superhero is experiencing a ratings slump of late, and Entertainment Weekly has suggested some solutions in it's cover story Heroes: Five Ways to Fix a Series In Crisis. Everyone’s entitled to their opposing opinion I suppose, but who are we kidding? Monday morning quarterbacking from Entertainment Weekly? I wonder how People Magazine or Tiger Beat would fix the series?Your Uncle Stanley used to go through this same dynamic with my publisher/uncle-in-law Martin Goodman. You know why Uncle Marty never wrote comics? For the same reason the writers of EW aren’t producing quality network TV shows — because they can’t. You know the old saying, “Those who can, do. Those who can’t become Hollywood flacks.”

Personally, Yours Truly still enjoys Heroes as must-see-Monday-night-TV. If the Smilin’ One was going to offer up any constructive criticism to show runner Tim Kring — from one sense-shattering serial scripter to another — it would just be to do some more stunt-casting cross-overs with A-list television and movie stars, like... I dunno... say the creator of the Marvel Universe and the elder statesman of all things hip, slick and cool?A certain bus-driving guest star from season one, episode 16 comes to mind. He could be revealed to actually be Grandfather Petrelli, the long-lost patriarch of the clan who has the ability of rapid ratings regeneration! He would need to have a couple of really hot, super-powered younger girlfriends, though, as back-up. Hey! I think I'm onto something here! I’ll have my people call your people! We’ll do lunch, okay?

Excelsior!

Smiley

MARVEL TEAM-UP: SPIDER-MAN AND PLANNED PARENTHOOD

2008-10-27T11:05:00.010-04:00

ITEM! Ah, the 70s. For an era that was supposed to be the “Me Generation” was there ever a delirious decade when more folks strived to be as socially-relevant as humanly possible? Most well-read Marvelites already know about the time when the Nixon administration’s Department of Health, Education and Welfare asked me to do a comic featuring the pitfalls of drug addiction — resulting in a series of Spidey stories that caused the Comics Code Authority to be reformed. But didja know that in 1976 we were approached by the Planned Parenthood organization to produce a comic for inclusion in their information packets to teenagers? Yup, and we did it too! And now that li’l 5” x 6.5” mini-comic has become a much sought-after collectors item of its own! Featuring a script by Ann Robinson and art by then-Spidey artist, the late-great Ross Andru, this essentially earnest effort may read a little bit corny today, but it was jam-packed with info that kids in the swingin’ 70s needed to know, like “Dreams, thoughts and wishes about sex are natural. Masturbation won’t make you insane or harm you in any way...”

Here are a few pages from this immemorial intercourse on... well, intercourse, straight from the Disco Era to you! Or, you can grab your own copy fresh off the ebays here! Enjoy!

Excelsior!

Smiley

MADCAP MARK EVANIER TALKS KIRBY AT GOOGLE

2008-10-24T11:57:00.003-04:00

ITEM! In case you didn’t already catch this one on the Intrawebs, pilgrims, MMMS member-in-good-standing Madcap Mark Evanier recently gave his Jack Kirby talk for the famous Authors@Google series! If you’ve never been able to attend one of the Comi-Cons at which Mark often speaks, then this is your chance to hear him wax eloquently for over 45 minutes about the King of Comics. Your Uncle Stanley always enjoys his Kirby keynotes because they help kick-start my memory-impaired medulla oblongata on what just did happen back in Ye Olden Days. After watching this vid, my only critical comment to the Madcap One is a desperate plea — please give me a call as soon as possible, Mark. I can tell yah exactly who to go see about the perilously un-plentiful pelage! Trust me on this one, Tiger. I know whereof I speak!

Excelsior!

Smiley

GALACTUS — DOWN AND OUT ON PLANET EARTH

2008-10-23T10:53:00.004-04:00

ITEM! More troubling news and a further update on the sad state of affairs with everyone’s favorite consumer of after-dinner breath mints, Galactus. It seems that Hollywood wags have spotted the Big G coming and going from auditions to join next season’s cast of Dr, Drew’s Celebrity Rehab. We here in Soapboxland wish the World Devourer well with his recovery from addiction to the Power Cosmic and Coors Light. It’s been a long, strange trip from those heady hey-days in the mid-60s when ol’ Purple Boots first showed up in our Merry Marvel books.

Reports recently reached me that not only was the G-Man fired from the cast of Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer (replaced by a CGI-animated cloud), but he’s run out of money and is flat broke as well. Apparently Galactus signed the standard Marvel work-for-hire contract that all free-lancers were required to sign back in the day, and thus he receives absolutely no royalties from the pulse-pounding plethora of Galactus-themed merchandise Marvel licenses — like this nifty Galactus coffee mug (ideal for sipping your morning cup o’ elemental energy) or this cute li’l Galactus Teddy (see pics). Let’s all do our part pilgrims, and keep the World Devourer in our thoughts! ‘Nuff Said!

Excelsior!

Smiley

THE INCREDIBLE HULK - CAPTAIN AMERICA CAMEO, PART DEAUX

2008-10-22T19:53:00.007-04:00

ITEM! Some confused cameo-seeking critics have been pelting the ol’ Sock It To Stan email box with requests for further instructions on how to find the don’t-blink-or-you’ll-miss-it Captain America cameo in the alternate opening to The Incredible Hulk movie (now out on DVD and Blu-Rays). Did Hulk director Louis Leterrier lie to us about this earnest easter egg in earlier interviews? Is Cap really in there? Don’t fret, Frantic One. For those without a 102” plasma TV (like we have at Stately Lee Manor) or an able AV assistant like Irving Forbush III, your Uncle Stanley is here to help yah. Good thing for you Tigers and Tigrettes I am as magnanimous as I am munificent!

First, play the alternate opening (only included on the special 3-DVD set or the Blu-Rays) and watch it all the way to the very end. At about 2:23 or so in, as the ice shelf collapses into the frozen seabed, watch the lower left-hand of frame and get ready to hit the pause button. There’s Cap lying prone with his shield flying past camera embedded in a giant chunk of ice (see pic), all ready and set to float oceanward so he can be be found later by the military, SHIELD, and your local cineplex in 2011! Honest Irv has even concocted a video tutorial for you to help yah out (see below)!

And before someone asks the quizzical question “how did Cap’s shield get on Tony Stark’s lab bench in the Iron Man movie, if Cap’s got it with him frozen in the arctic ice shelf?"... Cap has his original shield from his WWII days. As dedicated Marvelites everywhere already know, Tony Stark made Cap a new shield stuffed with gizmos and electronics along about Avengers #6 (June 1964, or as we call ‘em, ye olden days). Now go out and get this DVD and see what all the fuss is about for yourself, oh Cameotic One!

Excelsior!

Smiley

I'M A MARVEL... AND I'M A DC

2008-10-22T14:27:00.000-04:00

ITEM! Who says that Barack Obama and John McCain get to have all the fun? Not infamous YouToober ItsJustSomeRandomGuy! We’ve featured his “I’m a Marvel... I’m a DC” take-offs on the famous Apple commercials here in Soapboxland before, but in this campaign season and what with all of the summer superhero movies coming out on DVD, it seemed like a good time to show yah some more! Lest anyone accuse Yours Truly of negative Not-Brand-Ecch advertising, let me remind you that these days there’s nothing more American than accusing your opponent of vague, unprovable and ill-defined character defects! So, until Sarah Palin explains to the American public exactly why she shot Bullwinkle J. Moose... enjoy!

Excelsior!

Smiley

HOW TO FIND THE CAPTAIN AMERICA EASTER EGG IN THE INCREDIBLE HULK DVD

2008-10-13T19:35:00.006-04:00

ITEM! Yours Truly here with the goods, as per usual, oh Frantic Ones. No need to resort to hair-pulling, purple pants-ripping, or belting yourself with gamma rays to see the excised Captain America cameo in The Incredible Hulk movie (out Oct. 21 on both DVD and Blu-Rays at a retailer near you). Just follow these simple instructions: play the alternate arctic opening to the flick and get ready to hit your pause button at about 2:25 in... and voila! There’s the First Avenger buried in the frozen firma along with his swinging shield, just like your Uncle Stanley told yah he’d be, lo these many moons ago! No fuss, no muss... just some daft decision-making by Marvel Studio Head Isaac Perlmutter when he more-or-less forced director Louis Leterrier to cut this original opening for being too dark for a Merry Marvel Movie. Hey, how can our heroes shine in the light without leaping through a little darkness first, right Faithful Ones? That’s the way Jack and I used to do it, that’s the way Marvel did it, and it’s worked out pretty well so far. Enjoy!

Excelsior!

Smiley

"HEROES" COMIC CREATOR CAMEO CONTEST

2008-10-13T11:45:00.005-04:00

ITEM! Hey there Heroes! Speaking of cameos, it's time for a new contest. The name of this one is the “Let’s All Write Tim Kring and Petition Him To Bring Back Yours Truly In Another Acclaimed Cameo Role Contest!”

Here’s the pitch: whatever happened to that mysterious Greyhound Bus driver in the Season One episode “Unexpected”? Is he secretly Nathan, Peter and Sylar’s grandfather? What’s his power? Is it to transport people via teleportation or diesel-engined mass public transportation? Maybe I could even have Mark Evanier along as my ever-faithful trusty side-kick? Enquiring True Believers want to know! Also my bank account could use the extra boost. It’s gonna be awhile between now and the next Merry Marvel Movie cameo, if you know what I mean. What do you win if you write in? Why you win the ever-lasting joy of seeing your Uncle Stanley giving another Emmy Award-winning performance on the hottest show on network television, natch! So what are you waiting on? A personal invite from Future Hiro?

To enter the contest, send your credible cards and liltin’ letters to:

Tim Kring

Endeavor Agency

9601 Wilshire Blvd. 3rd Floor

Beverly Hills, CA 90212

Excelsior!

Smiley

THE LOST CAPTAIN AMERICA CAMEO

2008-10-09T15:53:00.003-04:00

ITEM! And speaking of “lost cameos,” guess who’s finally getting ready to make his first earnest easter-egg appearance in the DVD version of The Incredible Hulk movie? That’s right... the often-mentioned but scoffed and contentioned Captain America cameo will be appearing in the restored original opening to the movie. See your Uncle Stan’s original blog on the subject for where and when to look. Need more? Go here and read what Hulk VF/X supervisor Kurt Williams has to say about the arctic prologue scene being restored to the very beginning of the flick! Sure, ol’ Kurt plays it pretty coy with the Sci-Fi Channel, but read between the dialogue balloons, Frantic Ones. Remember, it all goes down on October 21! Reserve your copy today!

Excelsior!

Smiley

THE LOST IRON MAN CAMEO

2008-10-09T15:17:00.004-04:00

ITEM! Hey there, Heroes! It’s my assumption that all of you True Believers out there in Marveldom Assembled have purchased your copy of the Iron Man movie on either DVD or the Blu-Rays by this time (one week after it's release). I base that assumption on Technocrati’s report that the Blu-Rays version has already sold out, making it the best-selling Blu-Rays disc in 2008! Wa-hoo!

But if you haven’t yet picked up your very own copy, then let your Uncle Stanley provide you with a little extra incentive. Besides the usual array of electrifying extras and insightful interviews with director Jon "Fan Fave" Favreau, this one includes my full cameo appearance in the movie that sadly ended up on the cutting room floor. Yes, it’s true. Yours Truly had actual lines and some actually acting that were cut for time in the final print. Now you can own your very own copy of my Lawrence Oliver-style performance along with more making-of bonus goodies than you can shake a repulser ray at! Thanks to Irving Forbush III, there’s a small sampling YouToobed below, just to whet your discerning appetites. So if you don’t already own this movie, go get it now! Tell ‘em that “Hef” sent yah!

Excelsior!

Smiley

DEVOURER OF WORLDS HITS HARD TIMES — STARTS DOING THE CONVENTION CIRCUIT

2008-10-08T13:02:00.003-04:00

ITEM! Hard times — it happens to the best of us. Just ask Nick Nolte or my bestest biddy-buddy Robert Downey Jr.. Looks like the Devourer of Worlds and everyone’s least favorite all-you-can-eat buffet companion has finally hit rock bottom! News reached me just this weekend that Galactus was seen signing autographs at Mid-Ohio Con in Columbus, Ohio. It just breaks my heart to see the scourge of the Skrull Empire and sentients across the universe squeaking by like this on convention appearance money. Bet they put him up at the local Motel 6, too.

Apparently the Big G’s long-tall fall started back when he was replaced by a CGI cloud in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer. Director Tim Story later claimed that it was an artistic decision to replace ol’ Purple Boots with computer effects, but the tabloids all reported that it was really because he was constantly showing up late on the set or without his lines memorized. Next thing anyone knew the Big Guy was seen hanging out at Britney Spears’ compound. She’s like what? 1/576,000,000th his age? Even now, with a Silver Surfer movie in pre-production, the studio won’t take his calls. How the mighty have fallen! Gimme a call, G. Maybe it's not too late to get you into Secret Invasion.

Excelsior!

Smiley

SPORE - SO EASY EVEN AN 85-YEAR-OLD CAN PLAY IT!

2008-10-07T11:43:00.005-04:00

ITEM! It’s not often that a computer game comes along that really catches my fancy. Let’s face it — I'm old. As a teenager back in Depression-era New York, the closest thing we had to computer games was a quick pick-up of "kick the soup-kitchen bum." But I gotta tell yah this Spore game by Maxis has me glued to my Dell computer, creating comical creatures and conquering cosmic civilizations when I should be writing scripts for the seven zillion projects I’m signed up to produce. Who says you need any artistic sensibilities to create great characters? Not Yours Truly — not after playing around with Spore. Honest Irv has even embedded one of those YooToobs below so you can see my very own sizzling Spore creation, the Mystical Mister Multi-Limb!

And it’s not just your Uncle Stanley who’s caught up in the Spore craze! Celebs ranging from my main-man Richard Branson to Heroes’ Masi Oka to Ozland's Flight of the Conchords have created Spore creatures for your electronic edification! I kid you not! So what are you waiting for? Latverain New Year? Go get this game! Where else do you get to play a character that starts as a humble microbe who eventually works his way up to starship captain? The only thing missing from this game? One word — Galactus! Ah well, maybe in Spore II...

Excelsior!

Smiley

SCI-FI INTERVIEWS YOURS TRULY

2008-10-07T11:12:00.001-04:00

ITEM! As regular readers of this bellicose blog already know, no one gives more fabulous face-time than your Fearless Leader. To wit: the Sci-Fi Channel just posted a recent interview with Yours Truly in which I wax elegantly on the recent explosion of super-hero movies!

One of the many money-quotes from my one-on-one monologue: “You do your best. You have a character, you know the character, the story works and it’s a great one. But then you have to do another story. That’s the problem.” It may have temporarily slipped my memory-impaired mind to mention that the solution to said dilemma is usually finding a fantastic visual storyteller like Jack Kirby or Steve Ditko to collaborate with... but what the hey! That’s what I have this blog for, right pilgrims? To meritoriously mete out credit-where-credit it due! You read it here first! To read the whole blamed interview, go here and, as always, enjoy!

Excelsior!

Smiley

CAP MOVIE TO BE SET IN WORLD WAR II

2008-10-06T14:32:00.004-04:00

ITEM! Good news, everyone! Oh my, yes. Actually, the general idea of The First Avenger: Captain America movie (May, 2011) being mostly set in WWII has been public news for some time... but it’s sure nice to see some confirmation. According to Production Weekly magazine, here is the official plot synopsis:

"Born during the Great Depression, Steve Rogers grew up a frail youth in a poor family. Horrified by the newsreel footage of the Nazis in Europe, Rogers was inspired to enlist in the army. However, because of his frailty and sickness, he was rejected. Overhearing the boy's earnest plea, General Chester Phillips offered Rogers the opportunity to take part in a special experiment… Operation: Rebirth. After weeks of tests, Rogers was at last administered the 'Super-Soldier Serum' and bombarded by 'vita-rays.' Steve Rogers emerged from the treatment with a body as perfect as a body can be and still be human. Rogers was then put through an intensive physical and tactical training program. Three months later, he was given his first assignment as Captain America. Armed with his indestructible shield and and battle savvy, Captain America has continued his war against evil both as a sentinel of liberty and leader of the Avengers."

Nice, right? Mom, apple pie, and the Red Skull are also believed to be included in the script. Hopefully this is legit, though some blogsters have their doubts. Still, it always bodes well when the studio (even Marvel Studios in this particular case) expresses a genuine desire to stick closely to the comic’s creative concepts. Believe me when I tell yah no one wants another frantic franchise-killer like Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer on their hands again! According to my sources (feeble though they may be) no director or lead actor have been attached as yet. About the only thing your Uncle Stanley can say with certainty is that Cap won’t be played by Will Smith or Nicholas Cage. And Nicky, you can quit calling my offices. You already had your shot at Merry Marvel Franchise-Building in Ghost Rider, oh Elvis-like One!

Excelsior!

Smiley

SO WHY DID JACK QUIT MARVEL?

2008-10-01T16:10:00.005-04:00

ITEM! Here’s another question your Uncle Stanley gets asked just about every time I show my fabulous fawning face in public: Why did Jack Kirby quit Marvel in 1970 and jump ship to the Doubtful Competition? In fact, I was recently asked this very question while visiting Google for one of their Authors@Google Series. And just how did Yours Truly answer that insightful inquiry? Well, it’s Honest Irving Forbush III to the rescue with one of those embedded YooTube dealies so that you, the discriminating Marvel Reader, can see exactly how I responded to this quintessential question!

Excelsior!

Smiley

MISQUOTE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD ESTATE

2008-09-30T14:22:00.002-04:00

ITEM! You ever notice how the media can take almost any quote out of context and turn it into an inveracious Internet rumor disguised as actual journalism? Sometimes it even tickles me right down to my size ten tootsies. Take this for example: Moviefone does an interview with Yours Truly in which I’m asked about the rumored casting of Will Smith as Captain America. My response, as accurately reported was:

“I would love us to do something with Will Smith, but I don't know that he's Captain America. That would be a long shot. It would be a real leap to make Captain America black ... then again, I don't know. It might be a really smart thing. If Barack Obama becomes President who knows... suddenly a lot of our characters will be black!”

Simple enough, right? Just your ol’ Uncle Stanley glibly answering away in as non-commital a fashion as humanly possible. But then someone at ContactMusic.com gets ahold of this quote and pulls a portion of it way-the-heck outta proportion and we end up with this headline:

“Stan Lee — Stan Lee Wants to Make Will Smith a Black Captain America”

It’s actually pretty humorous when you think about it. The next headline will probably be “Stan Lee Says He’d Cast Barack Obama As Cap!” But seriously... as regular readers of this boisterous blog already know, Marvel Studios is in full charge of casting for our Merry Marvel Movies and half the time they won’t even take my calls, my-as-less solicit my advice on casting decisions. That’s not my job anyway. My job is to smile and say great things about whatever they’ve already decided to do in exchange for my cameo role and an executive producer credit! Heck, if they let me cast the Captain America movie, I can’t think of a better guy than the Smilin’ One to play Cap! Those CGI effects guys can give me muscles and blonde hair in post-production, right? I can see it all now... the excitement! The drama! The empty seats in theaters across the country...

Excelsior!

Smiley

ELECTION DAZE NOW AVAILABLE ON IPHONE AND IN E-BOOK VERSION!

2008-09-29T14:51:00.006-04:00

ITEM! Hoohah! Seems like just the other day Yours Truly was comparing Kirby’s Motherbox to the iPhone, and look what I started. Now you can get my best-selling political humor book Election Daze on your iPhone or as an eBook readable on any computer! Plus you get cool new bonus content that I wrote especially for these electronic editions. Get the iPhone version here, or the eBook version here.

Your Uncle Stan is still working on a sizzling sequel to Election Daze, but I’m having a little trouble convincing Filsinger Publishing that an approach that combines both of my prior captioning loves, political figures and Universal movie monsters, is the right way to go. Below is a sample comp that I worked up to wow ‘em with! I'm thinking of calling the new book Monsters to Decry With...

Excelsior!

Smiley

THE WORLD’S GREATEST COMIC SYNOPSIS

2008-09-29T12:05:00.004-04:00

ITEM! Didja know that Yours Truly still has a copy of his original outline for Fantastic Four #1 (Nov. 1961)? And thank Odin for that! Without it, my mnemonically-impaired misfiring memory cells would never be certain who came up with what between Jolly Jack and myself. As it is, you can read this and easily see what parts of our cosmic quartet came from your Uncle Stanley and which came from King Kirby!

I do recall that originally Uncle Martin wanted me to do a knock-off of the Debilitated Competition’s Justice League mag, and went so far as to suggest that we reunite all of our Golden Age heroes for just such a team. But I’d already tried that once with Cap, Subby and the Torch in the mid-50s and it didn’t sell. Plus, the only combustible character that I really liked from back then was the Human Torch. So I hit on the idea of forming a new team just using the one Golden Oldie, revised to suit modern day readers, natch. Jack and I brain-stormed the rest of the team up, and then I set down to my trusty ol’ Olympia manual typewriter (the preferred writing instrument of Harlan Ellison and Luddites everywhere) and banged out the outline shown below (click on the images to enlarge to comfortable reading size, pilgrims).

What’s particularly interesting is what’s in this that we didn’t use, and what’s not in it that we ended up with. Obviously, the idea of Sue’s clothes not disappearing when she used he power and her having to run around naked every time she needed to be invisible didn’t make it past Jack (though Tim Story had some fun with it 40 years later). Neither did the ideas of Sue being an actress, Johnny not being able to toss fireballs, and (except for a few passing mentions in early ishes) Ben’s crush on Sue.

As to FF #1 itself, you’ll also note that there’s no mention of the Mole Man or Monster Isle. Don’t hold me to this, but I’m pretty sure that I just handed Jack this outline and told him to rip out another 12-13 pages of the FF fighting their first battle against some standard monster-mag monsters, just like the ones we were publishing like crazy at the time. So all of that stuff, plus the reordering of the story into a framed flashback, were all Kirby creations.

So there you have it, Frantic Ones... a little gem of a piece of Merry Marvel Mythology all documented for your analytical appetites. Enjoy!

Excelsior!

Smiley

YOU MUST REMEMBER THIS, THERE’S NOTHING HERE AMISS, OR CONTINUITY YOU’LL DEFY, THE FUNDAMENTAL THINGS APPLY AS TIME GOES BY...

2008-09-26T13:04:00.006-04:00

ITEM! What type of question do Merry Marvelites ask Yours Truly more than any other? The most-asked questions are usually just different flavors of this one: “If Reed Richards and Ben Grimm served during World War II (Fantastic Four #11, 1963), then how come they aren’t both in their 80s now?” Or, “If Peter Parker graduated high school in the Spring of 1965 (The Amazing Spider-Man #28), shouldn’t he be at least 60 years old today?”

There are two ways to answer these kind of questions about reconciling the passage of time with continuity in the Marvel Universe. One way is at least as old as that employed by one of my all-time favorite writers, Edgar Rice Burroughs. Burroughs’ writing career spanned a long enough period of time that he felt it necessary to create customized storytelling solutions to keep John Carter of Mars and Tarzan ever-young in stories that appeared over a period of decades. Hence, in the Marvel Universe, we have things like Captain America staying frozen in a state of suspended animation from WWII until (by my math) sometime during the Clinton administration. Or Nick Fury taking a slug of the “Infinity Formula” every few years to stave off the effects of aging and being interested in women 50 years his junior. As Marvel Executive Editor Tom Brevoort suggests in his excellent Blah Blah Blog, you’ll mainly just give your readers, your editors, and yourself a giant Galactus-sized headache worrying too much about things like this.

Moi personally, I just don’t address the issue at all. I consider it part of the whole “suspension of disbelief” notion that goes hand-in-pen-holding-hand with writing popular fiction. Should you or any other Frantic Ones really lose any sleep over how the passage of time in a comic book affects a hero who can stick to walls and spin webs? You see my point here. Still, if you absolutely, positively, have-to-have an all-encompassing continuity-embracing answer to this burning issue, then I guess it’s your Uncle Stanley to the rescue! You see, way back in 1941 (Captain America #6, to be exact) I created a little superhero called Father Time. The self-same Father Time that went on in modern Marvel mainstream comics to become one of the Elders of the Universe (Captain America #383, 1991, natch). Just blame any and all inconsistencies on that guy. He’s probably been constantly manipulating and readjusting the timeline since the early 1940s just so you True Believers could enjoy the very best in action-packed storytelling. And let’s face it... Peter Parker swinging from rooftops in his Depends undergarments, or Reed and Ben escaping the nursing home by way of the Negative Zone, would be no one’s idea of an “action-packed” story. Not even over at the Distinguished Conglomerate! And now it’s time for the continuity cosmology lesson to endeth.

Excelsior!

Smiley

UNCLE STAN WANTS YOU!

2008-09-25T11:51:00.000-04:00

(With special thanks to Robby Reed over at Dial B for Blog!)

Smiley

COMIC BOOK CONFIDENTIAL

2008-09-24T14:40:00.002-04:00

ITEM! If you’ve never seen Ron Mann’s classic 1988 documentary, Comic Book Confidential, then shame on you, pilgrim. You’ve unknowingly deprived yourself of one of the most exciting examinations of graphic storytelling as an art form this side of Scott McCloud. Shot on a non-existent budget using cameras and crew “borrowed” from another project, Mister Mann and associates talked to the creators who made it all happen from the 1930s up through the 80s, including the likes of Will Eisner, William M. Gaines, Harvey Kurtzman, Robert Crumb, Lynda Barry and Frank Miller, just to name a few. And of course they interviewed Yours Truly and Jack Kirby, including having each of us read a short segment from some of our very best work. Just to whet your appetite, I’ve had Irving Forbush III imbed those segments below. After you’ve enjoyed them, you can order the entire movie on dynamic DVD by going right here. Enjoy!

Excelsior!

Smiley

HEROES COMES BACK WITH A BANG

2008-09-23T12:19:00.004-04:00

ITEM! My favorite TV show this side of Who Wants To Be A Superhero is finally back — NBC’s Heroes. And brother did it come back with a Big-Bang! We finally learned who shot Nathan Petrelli, that even Sylar can’t kill Claire, and what power Momma Pertelli has been hiding all this time. The only burning cliffhanger plot point not resolved is one that’s been hanging in the air since all the way back in Season 1... namely, what power did that mysterious Greyhound Bus driver have (you know, the one that gave Hiro a lift way back in Episode 16 “Unexpected”)? I’m guessing he has the ability to dialogue his way out of any situation, but that’s just wild speculation on my part. Watch the clip below and decide for yourself!

Excelsior!

Smiley

DITKO ON KIRBY'S SPIDER-MAN

2008-09-22T14:40:00.001-04:00

ITEM! Look’s like Sturdy Steve Ditko, the man many consider the co-creator of Spder-Man, has finally updated his blog with a 2002 article relating his verifiable version of Spidey’s creation — with a focus on what contributions Jack Kirby made and didn’t make. It’s interesting reading, though in a rare burst of relatively reliable recall Yours Truly gave comprehensive coverage to the self same issue both here and here. To read about it from Steverino's point-of-view, clicketh thou here, and enjoy it for thyself!

Excelsior!

Smiley

STAN "THE A-MAZE-ING MAN"

2008-09-22T11:28:00.002-04:00

ITEM! Look what I found while poking around last night in my hermetically-sealed climate-controlled vault beneath Stately Lee Manor: Marvel’s Fun and Games Magazine #1 (1979). I love how the cover artist (whoever he was) just copied John Romita and John Buscema superhero heads so closely you can tell exactly who he swiped them from. There's even that cutely-copied Marie Severin "Thing" head up in the corner! Believe it or not, you can still thrill to the word games, puzzles, riddles and surprises of these game magazines from yesteryear over at Mile High Comics, where they have the whole 13-issue run for sale! Here’s a free sample of my favorite maze puzzle just to whet your whistles, Frantic Ones. Just click on the image below to embiggen, then print it out and enjoy! It's also suitable for framing or mounting on dart boards!

Excelsior!

Smiley

ART DIRECTOR PAR EXCELLANCE

2008-09-21T15:37:00.005-04:00

ITEM! While most folks mainly remember my 1945-1972 stint as Editor-in-Chief at Marvel Comics for my witty writing, dramatic dialogue, elegant editing, and peerless promotional propaganda, the fact is that I was also one helluva Art Director as well. Sure I had some great guys like Kirby, Ditko, Romita, Colan and others who were actually producing all of that art, but at the end of the day who was responsible for the overall look-and-feel of the whole furshlinger comic book line? If you said Sol Brodsky, go sit in the back of the class, pilgrim. Yours Truly was the final say on everything. Well... the final say except for Uncle Martin. And that’s my Uncle — Martin Goodman — not Bill Bixby’s. But I digress...

Much like late-great PBS art show host Bob Ross, who wanted everyone to paint “happy trees,” I was forever extolling the Bullpen to draw things “more like Kirby.” Say what you will, but it was art direction like that which got our sales up over Brand Ecch’s in the early 70s, and we've never looked back since. Still, not everyone was comfortable with my art directorial style. For example, see the over-the-top, over-done, over-alliterative cartoon below, submitted to the ol’ Sock It To Stan emailbox by MMMS member Rob Steibel. Your specially primed and armed Nuclear No-Prize is on it’s way to you, Rob. Who says your Uncle Stanley can’t take a little joke?

Excelsior!

Smiley

"JACK, I AM WHAT YOU MADE ME"

2008-09-18T11:36:00.018-04:00

ITEM! Didja know that you don’t have to wait another four months to get the latest issue of the Jack Kirby Quarterly? That’s how long it’ll take for the slow boat from Great Britain to get ‘em over here in U.S. comic book shops. But you can get yours the same way your Uncle Stanley got his copy. No, no, you don’t have to become the idol of millions or sign your name on everything in sight. Relax. All you have to do is to get on the ebays and order a copy shipped directly to your hot little hands! No need to thank me, pilgrims. Spreading the faith, keeping the flame alive, and shamelessly promoting anything that mentions Yours Truly in it by name is just what I do.

This latest effort from editor Credible Chrissie Harper and contributors like Marv Wolfman, Greg Theakston, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird (to name only a few) is packed with more and better info on Jolly Jack than you can shake a Boom Tube at! There are things in this mag that even Yours Truly was surprised to learn (or re-learn as the case may be). When you have the long-term memory capacity of a shot-gunned sieve, you do the best you can! Marvelous Marv talks about originally plotting the first Fantastic Four/Terrax storyline for the King to draw, only to have that plan fall through at the last minute. Greg Theakston recalls — with far greater clarity than I do — the reconciliation hug between the King and I. And the Kirby family allowed the publication of some Kirby art that I’ve never even seen before... and believe me brother, I’ve seen more than my fair share! Check out the semi-autobiographical pencil drawing hand-colored in ink dyes by the King himself (see below).

If sales of this issue warrant it, editor Chrissie Harper promises a much-more-aptly named next issue of the Jack Kirby Annual some time in 2009 — so go support the cause, pilgrims! You will be rewarded in ways you’ll never know. To quote the King, “Don’t ask! Just Buy!”

Excelsior!

Smiley

ACTION IS HIS REWARD

2008-09-18T11:36:00.004-04:00

ITEM! If you’re still not over the whole Brand New Day debacle and enjoying Dapper Dan Slott and Even Jazzier John Romita Jr.’s current run on Spider-Man, then shame on you, Fearless One! These two guys are busy bringing Spidey back to heights of greatness unseen since Harry Osborn was knee-high to a Goblin. Even Jazzy Jr.’s covers are harkening back to those classic days when Yours Truly and John Jr.’s Pencilling Pater were setting the high-bar for spandexed spider-webbed splendor. In ish #572 (now on stands, natch), you get Spidey spanking Bulleye like he was a fair-headed stepchild, Norman Osborn back in costume, and... well I don’t want to spoil the whole thing for yah. Let’s just say that the current owner of the Venom symbiote makes a similar return to a classic costume with terrifying results. So what are you waiting for? A personal invite to Aunt May’s bridge club? Go get this one, Tigers!

Excelsior!

Smiley

A TRIBUTE TO GENTLEMAN GENE COLAN

2008-09-18T11:36:00.003-04:00

ITEM! Now at a Local Comic Shop near you — A Tribute to Gene Colan! You gotta go and get your malingering mitts on this one right away, pilgrims. Besides being an authoritative anthology of some of Gentleman Gene’s very best Marvel work, portions of the proceeds go directly to Mr. and Mrs. Colan to help offset medical expenses from Gene’s recent illness. In addition to proceeds from the tribute book, Marvel has also awarded Gene a nice retirement bonus and just generally stepped up to the philanthropic plate — and rightly so! And it’s all because Marveldom Assembled, Clever Cliff Meth, and Frantic Ones just like you demanded it! So say we all!

Excelsior!

Smiley

HE'S A COOL EXEC WITH A PURSE OF STEEL

2008-09-16T13:13:00.005-04:00

ITEM! Speaking of the Golden Avenger, you might remember this story about the Hollywood hubbub regarding precocious paparazzi photog Ronnie Adams — he who managed to sneak on-set during the filming of Iron Man and get away with a shot of ol’ Shellhead in his full red-and-gold regalia. After making the poor schmuck pull the pic off his website and threatening to shut him down forever, someone on the Iron Man production team thought it would be just hilarious to include Adam’s pic in a fake newspaper spread easily seen in the theatrical release of the movie (see pic below). That’s when Ransom-seeking Ronnie sued Paramount and Marvel for, well, let’s face it... stealing his photograph. Jumpin’ Jehosaphat and shades of J. Jonah Jameson!

Now this development: Yours Truly was checking out my preview Iron Man DVD the other day, and what to my wondering eyes should appear... but a completely different photo digitally inserted into the DVD version of the movie! No word on how the lawsuit is going between Marvel, Paramount and Ronnie... but it’s a safe bet that given the choice between giving Ronnie a few hundred grand and giving their entertainment attorneys the same amount, the studio suits have elected to do the latter rather than the former. To quote a certain weapons manufacturing billionaire, "That’s how Dad did it, that’s how America does it, and it’s worked out pretty well so far..."

Excelsior!

Smiley

HAVE FAITH FEARLESS ONES! WE'RE BACK!

2008-09-16T12:05:00.001-04:00

ITEM! Sorry for the liltin’ lull between posts, pilgrims! Ol’ Smiley’s huge backlog of proffered projects, prolific scripts, and pointedly looming deadlines finally caught up with me. What finally got my attention was when a Disney lawyer suggested that if I didn’t get my in arrears rear-end in gear soon, I was gonna have to start giving back the up-front money! Yeesh! So — long story not-so-short, I had to load up on some St. John’s Wort, sequester myself in Casa De Lee, and churn out the next generation of literary greatness for several studios all at once.

But we’re back on track here in Soapboxland, with some exciting new comics, comedy and contests that’ll come winging their way straight to you any day now! And maybe I can even talk Shooter into guest posting a little more often. Where were yah when I needed yah, Jim? How much time can it take to script the same comic you’ve been writing since you were 15? Meantime, here’s a little something to tide you Faithful Ones over... Iron Man and his Dubious Compatriot discussing who had the biggest non-sequel opening for a super hero flick. Enjoy!

Excelsior!

Smiley

TOP 10 BEST JACK KIRBY COMICS

2008-09-03T09:57:00.007-04:00

The Shooter here with my own contribution to the Jack Kirby 91st birthday celebration and thanks to the Smilin’ One for letting me play in his Soapbox. Rather than belabor the obvious, gentle readers, I’ve chosen to share with you my personal favorites: The Top 10 Best Jack Kirby Comics. I know, it’s like choosing your favorite Beatles song or your favorite Van Gogh. Or deciding which of my runs on The Legion of Superheroes is best. While you may disagree with some of my choices, we can all agree that the King gave us some of the very best graphic storytelling the world has ever seen. Even in collaboration (to one degree or another) with the likes of Joe Simon, Stan Lee and even Arthur C. Clarke, Jack’s storytelling sensibilities were always what made a Kirby comic great. Inventive as he was, creative as he was, artistically gifted as he was, Jack was always first and foremost a fantastic storyteller. And so, without further ado...

Top 10 Best Jack Kirby Comics

10. Kamandi #16 “The Gift”

9. Marvel Treasury Edition: 2001 A Space Odyssey

8. Sgt. Fury and His Howling Commandos #6 “The Fangs of the Fox”

7. Captain America #1

6. Thor #159 “The Answer At Last!”

5. Mister Miracle #9 “Himon!”

4. Fantastic Four #51 “This Man... This Monster”

3. Streetwise “Street Code”

2. Boys Ranch #3 “Mother Delilah”

1. New Gods #7 “The Pact”

Take Care,

Shooter

GASPAR SALADINO — THE BETTERER LETTERER!

2008-09-02T14:00:00.009-04:00

ITEM! As many of you Frantic Ones already know, we’re all about credit-where-credit-is-due here in Soapboxland. And in that spirit, today we are celebrating one of the greatest unsung heroes of comics from the Silver Age straight through to the 21st Century. That’s right, we’re talking about the indomitable Gaspar Saladino, Letterer Extraordinaire (try saying THAT three times fast)!

Gaspar’s Distinguished Career saw him mainly working for our competition throughout most of the 50s and 60s, but boy-oh-boy did he ever save our bacon in the swingin’ seventies and eighties! By then, Marvel stalwarts Artie Simek and Sam Rosen had retired and for whatever reason we couldn’t find a decent letterer to save our sales-starved souls. Then it hit me! Why not do the same thing with lettering that we did when we had Jolly Jack do breakdowns and layouts for some of our action-challenged Bullpen artists? So we brought in Gaspar the Great to re-design some of our liltin’ logos and and to letter just the covers and splash pages of most of our line of Mighty Marvel Comics. The results were spectacular, and if you were reading ‘em back then you were probably so dazzled by Gaspar's uncredited cover and splash page work that you didn’t even notice that the interior pages were lettered just a wee bit less elegantly.

And so, in celebration of the life and career of Gaspar Saladino, we here at the Soapbox present a sizzling selection of some of his best logo lettering work from the 70s (at least the best that he did for us, natch). Click on the images below to embiggen! To read much, much more comprehensive coverage of the Great Gaspar’s career, allow me to direct your kind attention to the titanic 12-part series dedicated to ol’ Gaspar over at Dial B For Blog! Tell Robby your Uncle Stan sent yah! Enjoy!

Excelsior!

Smiley

DIAL "H" FOR HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

2008-09-02T11:49:00.002-04:00

ITEM! An extra-glitzy and glamorous “Happy 500th Blog Anniversary” shout-out to the great-grandaddy of comic blogs — Robby Reed’s Dial B For Blog! It doesn’t seem possible that it’s already been 500 peerless postings since Robby began his little corner of ye old blogosphere way back in May 2005! Robby has always set the golden standard for in-depth and graphics-rich comic coverage of all things Silver-Aged — a standard by which all other comic blogs are measured. The only complaint your Uncle Stanley has ever had is Robby’s unfortunate tendency to focus on the Distinguished Conglomerate... but what they hey! What would any hero be without his Official Trademarked Stan Lee Patent-Pending Feet of Clay? That just makes us love yah all the more, oh Blogger of 1,000 Heroes! So until Robby switches his magic dial from analog to a digital, we’ll just keep Making Ours Dial B For Blog!

Excelsior!

Smiley

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE KING!

2008-08-28T08:10:00.016-04:00

ITEM! Today of course, is the day that should be recognized as a national holiday for comic book fans around the world — it's Jack Kirby's birthday! On August 28, 1917, Jacob Benjamin Kurtzberg, later known as Jack Kirby, was born in New York’s Lower East Side. Little did anyone know that 91 years ago today the single greatest creative force ever seen in the sequential art medium had just arrived on the planet. There have been many masters of the comic arts, but there’s only been one King.

We talk a lot about Jack Kirby here in Soapboxland. Heck, one of the reasons your Uncle Stanley started this off-the-record and under-the-radar blog was so that I could set a few records straight and give some credit where credit was long overdue. So to celebrate the King’s birthday, we proudly present a sense-shattering selection of the best of our Jolly Jack Kirby blog posts. Learn what brand of cigar the King smoked! Hear Jolly Jack tell it like it is in his own words! Learn the secret true origins of characters like Galactus and the Inhumans! Read along as we celebrate the King’s birthday the only way we know how — with lots and lots of agonizingly alliterative adjectives, adverbs, and anagrams!

You Don’t Know Jack

... And I Named Him That!

Behold! The Coming of Galactus!

Sgt. Stanley’s Lonely Hearts Club Bullpen

Raiders of the Lost Art

This Is a Plot?

Thus Spake Zarathustra

Among Us Dwell... The Munsters?

Kirby’s Unfinished Fourth Symphony

Fantastic Fonts, Faces and Fours

Jack’s One Man Super-Soldier Corps

Marvelous Iconography

The Incredible Hulk — The Lost Cameos

Jack and Bob

Jack's Back — And We Got Him!

Who Credits the Creators?

Co-Creators — The Other Side of the Story

Still not willing to take our word for it? Then by all means go see what some other boisterous bloggers have to say about the King on his 91st birthday (updated even, so go knock yourself silly)!

The Jack Kirby Museum: Jack's 91st Birthday

Beaucoup Kevin: Jack Kirby Would Be 91 Today

Chris' Invincible Super-Blog: The World That's Coming Revisited!

Mid-Ohio Con Blog: Why Kirby Is King

Mark Evanier's News From Me: Jack

PW The Beat: Happy 91st Birthday Jack Kirby

The Comics Reporter: Jack Kirby Would Have Been 91 Today

The Jack Kirby Weblog: Happy 91st Birthday, Jack

Excelsior!

Smiley

WHO LETTERS THE LETTERERS?

2008-08-27T11:42:00.008-04:00

ITEM! Here’s a bit of Interweb Trivia to confuse and confound your CPU (that’s Cerebral Processing Center in this case, natch). What’s the great-grand-daddy of comic book blogs, alongside which all others pale by comparison? Who’s the reigning authority on all matters Gold, Silver, and Bronze Age related? What conversant comics blog will soon be celebrating une centential de la cinq? If you guessed Yours Truly, then you get points for being a loyal Marvelite, but sorry, no soap... er, soapbox!

Conject and comment away, Inquisitive Ones... or just be right here on Labor Day (September 1st, for those living outside the U.S.) when we help celebrate this momentous monumental milestone by featuring some special soap-bloggage about the man behind the graphic displayed above, and the blog that loves him like a calligraphic cognate! Get your broadband bills all paid up blogsters, 'cause you're not gonna want to miss this one!

Excelsior!

Smiley

THIS DUCK IS CRAZY!

2008-08-27T08:59:00.003-04:00

JACK KIRBY: THE MOTHER OF ALL INVENTIONS

2008-08-26T14:40:00.005-04:00

ITEM! One of the toughest things about working with Jack "King" Kirby was just trying to keep up with and sort through all of his idiosyncratic ideas. Jack was the kind of creator who threw away more ideas before breakfast than most of us had all year. And I’ll be the first to admit that when parsing through the 10 gazillion ideas he’d pack into those pencilled pages’ margin notes, a few times I went. “well, gee, that’s great... but it’s just too crazy. THAT’S never gonna happen.”

But I’ve noticed that the present has a habit of catching up to Jack’s future-perfect ideas. To wit, Apple’s ubiquitous iPhone. Just recently, at least two comapnies have announced or deployed comic book reading applications for Steve’ Job’s wunderdevice. A company named Clickwheel developed something called the Clickwheel Comic Reader that lets you read specially-formatted comics right on your iPhone. For example, you can subscribe to Great Britain’s titanic 2000 A.D. and Judge Dredd for a nominal fee, or catch tons of other comic creations for absolutely free!

Then there’s iVerse’s recently announced iVerse Media Player, which will do basically the same thing when released. And iVerse is actively seeking content partners even as we blog. What a great way for independent comic book creators to distribute their wares, as well as the big boys. I can tell you that your Uncle Stanley will be right on top of this with my own daringly Disney digital comic series, Time Jumper! As the late-great Walt Kelly said, “We have met the future, and it is us.” And as always, Jolly Jack was waiting for us there all along. While your iPhone can’t yet summon a Boom Tube up for yah (Hear that, Jobs? Get to work!), but you can read comics on it for Odin’s sake! How cool is that? To keep up on the latest and greatest comic reading applications for your iPhone or iPod Touch, go to the iPhone Comic Book website. Tell ‘em Stan the Man sent yah!

Excelsior!

Smiley

WELL THANK GOD FOR THAT...

2008-08-26T10:53:00.005-04:00

ITEM! Bad news, oh Keepers of the Faith. It seems that Virgin Comics is in the process of shuttering most or all of its comics line. At least according to my old-man Interweb crush Heidi MacDonald and sources at The Beat.

It’s probably just as well. As you may recall, Virgin mogul Richard Branson and the Smilin’ One announced that Yours Truly would create an exciting new superhero universe for their comics line at Comic-Con New York this past year. With the perilous plethora of projects that I’ve had on my plate lately, the only idea I’d come up with so far was a superhero group called The Litigation Men. Litigation Men was about a team of attorneys that were belted with cosmic rays and all got super powers. Their leader was a guy named Mister Mitigation. Other members included his girl-friend the Indivisible Girl, the Human Tort, and the Juror. Based in Hollywood, they had adventures signing multi-million dollar licensing deals with big up-front payments that eventually crash and burn. Ah well... maybe these legal-eagle characters will still see the light of publishing day as characters under one of my development deals with Disney! There's a company that knows a thing or two about the legal process!

Excelsior!

Smiley

THE ADVENTURES OF STAN LEE'S TOUPEE

2008-08-25T11:11:00.002-04:00

ITEM! Speaking of titanic toupees and remembrances of rugs-gone-by, here’s one that I’d completely forgotten about (I know... whatta shocker)... The Adventures of Stan Lee’s Toupee. In a break with the FOX Network’s usual policy of only cancelling really good shows, The Adventures of Stan Lee’s Toupee got cancelled faster than Kevin Smith’s Clerks cartoon. I think that they probably burned all the tapes afterwards in the FOX backlot as some kind of offering to Mephisto. Still, it was fun while it lasted, and we had some great guest stars like William “The Shat” Shatner. You Frantic Ones can read all about it here. It’s listed on the Wikipedia clone Uncyclopedia... and as we all know, if it’s on the Intrawebs, it must be true!

Excelsior!

Smiley

WHEN TOUPEES COLLIDE

2008-08-23T10:31:00.003-04:00

ITEM! Memory is a funny thing, pilgrims. Some days I can remember exactly what I had for lunch at the Seawane Club with Jolly Jack in 1966 (hot open brisket and salad, natch), and other days I don’t even remember to match my socks. To compensate for my famously poor powers of recollection, I often make up stories that I’ve repeated so many times that I even believe that they’re true. Sometimes, they even still contain an itty-bitty grain of unremembered truth!

And so it is with this vaunted video where no less than William Shatner interviews me about the origins of Spider-Man. Since we all know (including me on a good day) that the original idea for Spidey came to me second-hand via Jack Kirby from an old Joe Simon creation (which the two of them had already retooled once into the Archie Comics character, The Fly), it’s telling that my standard pre-fabricated “I don’t really remember” story still contains a reference to me “seeing a fly on the wall” as an explanation for where the idea for Spider-man came from. Don’t believe me? See the video Honest Irv has embedded below. This is (to the best of my reckless recollection) done for Charles Band's Cinemaker series over on the Full Moon Channel. You know, it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea for me to focus on just trying to remember to take my daily dose St. Johns Wort BEFORE I do these kind of interviews! Yeesh!

Excelsior!

Smiley

MARVEL REMASTERWORKS III, THE SEARCH FOR SCHLOCK

2008-08-22T15:14:00.006-04:00

ITEM! Wowsir! Can you believe it’s already Friday? And that means it’s time for another installment of the Marvel Remasterworks version of Fantastic Four #3 (March, 1962). The premise is this: if Marvel can pay new artists to redraw select panels, pages, and complete issues of classic Lee-Kirby and Lee-Ditko comics for their Marvel Masterworks reprint series, then why shouldn’t Yours Truly be able to re-dialogue ‘em as well? So, until some lawyer letters show up from somebody I haven’t already beaten the pants off of in court twice now, here’s the latest chapter! See Part One or Part Two to catch up on our story so far, or just navigate back to the beginning after you click on the page below! Where else besides Stan's Soapbox are you gonna get all this comic goodness for free on the Intrawebs, pilgrims? Not from Dan Didio or Brand Echh, that’s for sure! And the madness that is Marvel marches on...

Excelsior!

Smiley

GHOST OF SOAPBOXES PAST

2008-08-21T22:01:00.010-04:00

ITEM! Here’s a biographical blast from the past... an original rough draft of one of my swingin’ Shakespearean soliloquies (otherwise known as Stan’s Soapbox) complete with hand-edits and a note to Archie Goodwin from John Verpoorten saying what our favorite production manager was always saying — hurry the heck up! Just for kicks, click here to see the published version for comparison (from comics published in Dec. 1976, natch), and as a special added bonus, see a magazine print ad that went hand-in-claw with the TV commercial (see below) that I’m yammering about at length in this particular Soapbox! Who could ask for anything more?

Before I forget, thanks to MMMS member-in-good-standing Richard Bensam for sending this into the ol’ Sock It To Stan email box, to Titanic Tom Spurgeon for running this story about it, and finally to former Marvel assistant editor Sparkling Scott Edelman for fishing this priceless artifact out of the Bullpen trash can and saving it all these years. Did yah see that? I just gave full credit to all parties involved! Who says this isn’t the Marvel Age of Old Dogs Learning New Tricks?

Excelsior!

Smiley

HAPPY B-DAY MARIE SEVERIN!

2008-08-21T14:38:00.003-04:00

ITEM! And a Howlin' Happy Birthday to Marvelous Marie Severin, she of the twinkling eyes and mischievous sense of humor! Your Uncle Stanley is a gentleman, so I am not going to mention just how old Merry Marie is, but let’s just say that’s she’s younger than Yours Truly. ‘Course so is John McCain. But be that as it may, you don’t come across many folks as wonderful as John’s little sis Marie, and we here in Soapboxland wish her the very best on her birthday. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — calling Marie the best woman artist in the business is an injustice. Marie was one of the best artists in the business, period. I’d call yah up and sing “Happy Birthday” to yah, Marie, but we don’t want the neighbors calling 911 thinking you’re strangling a cat! Here's a sizzling selection of some of Marie's best cover art, along with a winning one right here to get yah started! Enjoy!

Excelsior!
Smiley

HE SEEMS TO BE REALLY HUNG UP ON SUPER HERO SEX ORGANS

2008-08-20T22:27:00.012-04:00

ITEM! Folks are always asking me what my favorite cameo appearance has been in our Mighty Marvel Movies, and I have to be honest with you... the answer is none of them. Don’t get me wrong. I love every one of my Marvel movie cameos, from seaside hot dog vendor (X-Men 2000) to wedding crasher (FF 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer 2007) to Hugh Hefner impersonator (Iron Man 2008). But my all-time favorite movie cameo wasn’t in a Marvel flick at all — it was my appearance as myself in my buddy Kevin Smith’s 1995 cult classic, Mallrats. If you haven’t seen this classic exploration of the mating rituals of our mall-dwelling youth, then shame on you, pilgrim! Let me tempt you into getting this baby on DVD by showin’ yah the best three minutes of the whole magilla.

Excelsior!

Smiley

VINCE COLLETTA, THE MUSICAL

2008-08-20T13:21:00.005-04:00

ITEM! And speaking of musicals, wouldn't the Merry Marvel Bullpen of the 60s make a great cast of crooning comic characters for stage or screen? If only Yours Truly had the time to write every great idea that flowed from my Gershwin-like ganglia! Maybe if I get the ball rolling, other talents approaching mine (admittedly, few though they may be in number) can pick up the call and run with it. Here's a little ditty I wrote about our favorite Sicilian Scribbler, the late-great Vince Colletta. The lyrics should be sung to the tune of "The Oldest Established" from Guys & Dolls. Enjoy!

Excelsior!

Smiley

MARVEL MOTIVATIONAL POSTERS

2008-08-19T23:13:00.003-04:00

ITEM! Your Uncle Stanley hates to feel left out of anything, so in honor of bellicose bloggers Chris "Simply" Sims and Kevin "Why Aren't You In" Church, Yours Truly humbly submits the following ersatz entry:

Excelsior!

Smiley

MR. A, THE MUSICAL

2008-08-19T10:56:00.007-04:00

ITEM! Relax, Frantic Ones. Even though Broadway is indeed busy moving Heaven and Earth to try and make a musical out of everything from Spider-Man to Robocop, no one has yet decided to make a musical out of Sturdy Steve Ditko’s hero Mr. A. It’s just that every once in awhile my adopted great-grandson Irving Forbush III brings me these things and in spite all common sense and common-copyright-law I just have to post ‘em. This one takes the lyrics from a song by Alan Moore’s old band The Ice Cream Emperors and lets everyone’s favorite rascally Randian hero cut loose and belt one out! The results are, well... you better just take a gander at it for yourselves... (and as always, click on the image to embiggen it, natch!)

Excelsior!

Smiley

FORGOTTEN HERO CORNER: THE DESTROYER

2008-08-17T21:29:00.008-04:00

ITEM! Quick trivia quiz, True Believers: who was your Uncle Stanley’s very first comic character creation? Go on — you probably peeked already anyway. That’s right — it’s The Mighty Destroyer! Check out the amazing Jack Kirby cover from Mystic Comics #7 (December 1941) that featured the character’s second appearance. Who was The Destroyer? Ah, how quickly they forget. Well Sherman, set your Wayback Machine for those momentous months just before the U.S. joined World War II and just after Timely Comics editor Joe Simon and art director Jack Kirby had given the world everyone’s favorite shield-slinger, Captain America. A young office assistant and nephew-in-law to the publisher named Stanley Lieber was working his way up the Timely office ranks from lunchtime gopher and sometime flutist to actual comic book writer. Shortly after I had my very first peerless prose piece published in Captain America #3 (May 1941, natch), Yours Truly got the chance to create a new superhero for the Mystic Comics anthology series.

Who was The Mighty Destroyer? Well for starters, he was completely different from Captain America. American journalist Ken Marlowe got his dose of the super-soldier serum behind enemy lines while in a German concentration camp. See the difference? The Army didn't need to send The Destroyer into WWII, ‘cause he was already there fighting the Germans right in the heart of the Fatherland. See? Completely different. And instead of the good old “red, white and blue” of Cap’s costume, the Destroyer’s costume used a head-spinning skull and red-and-black stripes motif. How does a young, shy, and innocent 19-year-old design a completely original costumed crusader from whole cloth, you ask? See my original character sketch from 1941 (shown above) to get some idea. I was, after all, learning at the feet of the Simon-Kirby team. And getting them bagels.

Old Desty didn’t last too long after WW II ended, though later Marvel writers have brought the character back with varying levels of success. Though mostly forgotten today, a superhero in a full face mask who fights a fascist government commando style right on their own doorstep looks and sounds a little familiar doesn’t it? Maybe Alan Moore saw a few old British reprints of Mystic Comics as a child? “D for Destroyer” anyone? So, until next week’s “Forgotten Hero Corner,” this is the Mighty Smilin' One saying, keep ‘em flying, Forbushman!

Excelsior!

Smiley

MARVEL REMASTERWORKS, PART DEUX

2008-08-15T14:32:00.004-04:00

ITEM! That’s right, heroes! It’s Marvel Remasterworks Friday, and you know what that means! It means it’s time for Chapter Two of the re-dialogued Lee-Kirby classic, Fantastic Four #3 (March, 1962). If you’re new too these, then here’s the skinny: since Marvel got caught having new artists redraw some panels, pages and whole issues of Silver Age classics for their Marvel Masterworks reprint books, your Uncle Stanley thought if you’re gonna redraw ‘em, why not let me take a crack at re-dialoguing them? If yah missed out on Chapter One, just go here, or navigate back from the linked page below. And so, without further ardent ado — click on the image below to get on with the show!

Excelsior!

Smiley

THIS ONE GOES WITHOUT SAYING...

2008-08-14T14:53:00.006-04:00

ITEM! ... but that doesn’t usually stop me from saying it anyway! Coming this November to a quality cultural venue near you — Stan’s Soapbox! This 144-page prestigious paperback production will include (among other goodies) every single Stan’s Soapbox written from 1967 to 1980, just as it originally appeared in our Batty Bullpen Bulletins. And best of all, this titanic tome is being published by the Hero Initiative, and if you don’t already know what a worthy cause that one is, then it’s time to turn in your Spidey Underoos! Or you could just go here and educate yourself, oh bewildered one. Get your orders in fast for this one, pilgrims... it may sell out early on it’s way to the New York Times Bestseller List. Heck, why order just one? Get a Brubaker’s Dozen so you can hand ‘em out as Christmas presents this year. Attention all English Lit professors: educational discounts may be available should you wish to include this soon-to-be literary classic into your curriculum!

And before someone asks, no word yet on the sequel entitled Son of Stan’s Soapbox (either that or Bring On The Blogs... I haven't decided yet), but we’ll keep yah informed as further developments arise!

Excelsior!

Smiley

ROBERT DOWNEY JR. REVIEWS THE DARK KNIGHT

2008-08-14T11:39:00.003-04:00

ITEM! A giant No-Holds-Barred, No-Kidding-Around, Nebulous No-Prize goes out to Our Gal Val (she of the Occasional Superheroine fame) for this little slice of journalistic op-ed. Valorous Val reports on a interview with my bestest biddy buddy in the whole wide world, Robert Downey Jr., who is, shall we say, somewhat bewildered and underwhelmed by all the hoopla surrounding The Dark Knight. Go read it here. In fact, he was moved to express himself in a way that your Uncle Stanley doesn’t normally avail himself to in public. I usually resort to a smile and my six-volume thesaurus before getting too sassy. But still, RD Jr. makes some good points that Val expounds upon with insight and intelligence. So Valerie D’Orazio, for meritorious service to Merry Marveldom above-and-beyond the call of duty, consider yourself No-Prized and hereby field-promoted to the rollicking rank of Fearless Front Facer! Your comic-reading country thanks you!

Excelsior!

Smiley

AND I SAW THE SKRULL BENEATH THE SKIN...

2008-08-13T16:42:00.017-04:00

J.S. "Elliot" here subbing for the Smilin’ One today. And it seems that it’s that time of the month once again. Amid the near-constant onslaught of ancillary tie-ins, one-shots, and special issues surrounding Marvel’s summer crossover event, Secret Invasion, comes an actual issue of the Mother-of-all-Skrull books. And I have to say... finally... in Secret Invasion #5 we get some actual plot development. It's almost as if Brian Michael Bendis has been listening to the reader feedback. I'm sure if you, me, or Newsarama asked, he’d maintain that he's had this all planned out in advance since second grade in 1974. Either way, things actually start to pick up nicely in this issue.

*SPOILER ALERT* For example, after being introduced so dramatically to the story last issue as he rode to the rescue of a group of heroes fighting off the Skrulls in New York, Nick Fury finally gets down to real business this issue and... wait for it... watches some cable TV. No, I’m not kidding you. But that dramatic development aside, some real shape-changing waste matter finally hits the air redistribution system. S.W.O.R.D. director Abigail Brand single-handedly flushes an entire ship-full of Skrulls out the airlock and rescues Reed Richards. Jarvis the Gentlesman’s Gentleskrull get’s his metamorphic backside handed to him by SHIELD. It takes Reed Richards all of about five seconds to sort out the four-issue mess that’s been taking place in the Savage Land. And Hawkeye gets a real mad on. Like I said, for the most part very nicely done. This is how a summer crossover event is supposed to read. According to my calculations, by Secret Invasion #5 we’re finally about up to about the same point that I was by page 10 of issue #2 of Secret Wars, but that’s decompressed storytelling for you. If Mr. Bendis can keep amping up the pace as he did in this issue, at least this series will make a wonderful 60 minute read later on when it’s released as a trade paperback. And who knows? Maybe that was the Secret Invasion plan all along...

Take Care,

Shooter

THE ANIME EYES HAVE IT

2008-08-12T12:42:00.005-04:00

ITEM! Hey there, anime and manga fans! You know, your Uncle Stanley will try anything once. As you may remember from a previous blogisode, at Comic Con New York this year Hiroyuki Takei (he of international Shaman King fame) and Yours Truly (he of the humble wit and smilin’ mug) announced our magnificent manga collaboration Ultimo. What you may not know is that I decided this was the perfect time to try and honor my Japanese collaborator by trying out a pair of those anime contact lenses you can get from the G&G Company in Korea.

Granted the overall effect was somewhat muted by my official patent-pending prescription sunglasses, but still, it’s the thought that counts, right? Not so much as it turns out. Hiroyuki was polite enough about my portentous purple peepers in public, but he kept giving me that sideways crazy old man look when he thought I wasn’t looking — which wasn’t often with those things floating in front of my cataracts! Guess it was a good thing the contracts were already signed. Anyhoo — should you want to get yourself some Speed Racer eyes, go here and tell ‘em the Smilin’ One sent yah! Enjoy!

Excelsior!

Smiley

ACTIONE, TERRORE, SUSPENZO, SPIDERMAN!

2008-08-11T22:53:00.007-04:00

ITEM! While we’re on the subject of forgotten heroes, Alrugo Entertainment has just released the latest clip from the forlorn and forgotten first Marvel movie, Italian Spiderman (Italian with English subtitles, 1968). This "liberal," shall we say, interpretation of everyone’s favorite web-spinner was one of the worst and last licensing deals my former boss and late-lamented uncle-in-law Martin Goodman signed before selling Marvel Comics to Cadence Industries. Italian Spiderman was a movie so agonizingly, mind-boggling, soul-numbingly awful that it was never released upon its completion in 1968. When the Italian studio that made it went belly-up, the sole surviving print of the movie was shipped across the Atlantic by creditors for possible distribution in the U.S. Unfortunately for them, the cargo freighter sank before making port, taking this unknown classic with it.

Fast forward to 2007 when a salvage crew recovered some of the cargo from the sunken ship and up came Italian Spiderman, still hermetically sealed in its cobwebbed steel film canisters. Meantime Alrugo Entertainment had been resurrected based on the nostalgia renaissance occurring around their other 60s films Busto Busto and Sex Cops II. Alrugo then decided to unleash Italian Spiderman on an unsuspecting world a few clips at a time on the Intrawebs. The rest, as they say, is history.

The latest episode is a loose adaptation of The Amazing Spider-Man #6 (Nov. 1963). And by loose adaptation I mean there are episodes of Wally Gator that are closer than this thing, but what the hey! Honest Irv has embedded it below for your retro-60s foreign film fest enjoyment! You can catch up on the whole magilla at the Alrugo Films website or over at their YouToobs page. Who says this isn’t the Marvel Age of Italian Spandex and Epilepsy-Inducing Flash Cuts?

Excelsior!

Smiley

FORGOTTEN HERO CORNER: SOLARMAN!

2008-08-11T11:46:00.006-04:00

ITEM! Time to answer some of the ol’ Sock It To Stan emailage, and to kick off a new ongoing series (which means I’ll do it again as often as my daily dosage of St. John’s Wort jogs my intermittent memory functions)! It all starts with this request which comes from Jazzy Joe Wagner:

"As a former No Prize Recipient and a frequent reader that loves the site, could you do an article on the long lost Solarman comic series and animated pilot that was produced back in the 1980's? It appears that Marvel had big plans for the Stan Lee penned series and I would love to get some insight (and potential video links) about the character and the reason it was pushed to animation so quickly.

Thanks,

Joe Wagner"

Why was I hearing Ride of the Valkyries in my head while reading your letter, Joe? God, I love the smell of comics first thing in the morning... it smells like allegory! But I digress. Your Uncle Stanley could write a copious cannon in C Major about the long-lost Solarman project from 1989-90, but why do all that work when someone else has already covered the Solared One’s brief two-issue/aborted cartoon pilot/abandoned toy line career in such masterly detail? Get thee over to this article by Darlin’ Danny Best at his own cultural comic conclave otherwise known as the 20th Century Danny Boy blog! Normally I would just lift and rewrite the main elements of his piece into a new article that I could claim complete creative credit for, but I’ve been trying to mend my scene-stealin’ ways here lately! Enjoy!

Next time at Forgotten Hero Corner: one of my very first comic creations ever, Captain Amer—er, I mean, The Mighty Destroyer!

Excelsior!

Smiley

MARVEL REMASTERWORKS REVEALED AT LAST!

2008-08-08T17:08:00.005-04:00

ITEM! You’ve waited and you’ve wondered, you’ve giggled and you’ve guessed. Now the truth can be revealed at last! What in the name of Odin’s Depend Undergarments is or are the Marvel ReMasterworks? As some of you may recall, Marvel has been taken to task recently for paying artists to redraw or recreate the artwork from some of the most-beloved Lee-Kirby and Lee-Ditko classics for their Marvel Masterworks series of deluxe reprints. Well, your Uncle Stanley had a brilliant idea — if yer gonna go to all the trouble to redraw some of those golden oldies, why not give Yours Truly a crack at re-dialoguing a few of ‘em? As classic as some of my Silver Age soliloquies were, I’m sure I could make them even bigger, better and even more verbose than ever today! And so, we here at Soapbox-land proudly present the first (and if we get a cease-and-desist letter, maybe the last) installment of the re-dialogued, remastered, and revisited version of Fantastic Four #3 (March 1962)... with all art diligently and digitally scanned from an original print copy! Depending on reader response, critical acclaim and juris prudence, we’ll try and put up a new chapter every Friday. Until then, Keep Making Yours Marvel! (Marvel Comics, The Fantastic Four, and Stan Lee’s immortal soul all © Copyright 2008 Marvel Entertainment, Inc.) Click on the cover below to get started!

Excelsior!

Smiley

IT IS ALIVE! THE JACK KIRBY QUARTERLY IS BACK!

2008-08-07T14:10:00.001-04:00

ITEM! As much as Yours Truly has read and relished John “There’s Always To” Morrow’s Jack Kirby Collector, there was always a special, warm place in my heart for Great Britain’s late-lamented Jack Kirby Quarterly... which, let’s be honest, was anything BUT quarterly back when it was still being published. Still, the JKQ was always a nice companion mag to Jack Kirby Collector, which has often emphasized large-scale reproduction of classic Kirby pencils and art over scholarly analysis. Not so with the JKQ. As is often the case, the Europeans tend to look deeper into our own art forms than do the Americans who invented them. That’s what your Uncle Stanley always loved about sitting down and cozying up with a fresh copy of the JKQ.

Well guess what, pilgrims? After a lapse in publication of nearly three years, the Jack Kirby Quarterly is coming back, bigger and bolder than ever! Thanks in large part to the efforts of Credible Chrissie Harper and a host of other Khd’s (Professors of Kirbyology) from both sides of the ocean, issue #15 of the JKQ will be released for mail order later this month, and should show up in Continental Comic Shops shortly thereafter! See this sizzling summation of the 68-pages of content, along with ordering info, over at the Jack Kirby Weblog. Go get this one, sunshine! The King would want yah to!

Excelsior!

Smiley

TO BOLDLY SPLIT WHERE NO INFINITIVE HAS GONE BEFORE!

2008-08-06T11:39:00.006-04:00

ITEM! Don’tcha just love it when the good guys win one every once in awhile? It was just back this past November when the bone-headed brainiacs at Marvel Management yanked GIT Corps’ license to keep producing their dazzling and delightful DVD collections featuring 40+ years of Marvel’s best and brightest — all scanned from original issues I might add, unlike a certain series of Masterworks reprints that I could mention...

But it looks like you can’t keep a good startup down! Hot on the heels of their successful releases of the Absolutely Mad Magazine Collection, the Archie Bronze Age Collection, and the National Lampoon Complete Collection, comes their next critically-acclaimed collection, Star Trek: The Complete Comic Book Collection!

Featuring every single Star Trek comic ever published (with the exception of the current Trek comic licensees, IDW), this collection spans the Gold Key comics of the 60s, through the entire Marvel Comics comics (featuring some awesome art by the late-great Dave Cockrum), all the way to the recent Wildstorm books! Holy Skrull-cow! That’s everything from Captain Kirk to Captain Janeway. That’s more Klingons, Romulans and Tribbles than you can shake a dilithium crystal at! That’s light-years of reading all for the low-low-low price of $49.99 (or 5 slips of gold-pressed latinum, for those societies without legal tender).

This titanic Trek tribute will be released this September, though I expect my gratis review copy to show up well before then. Didja hear that GIT Corp? Gratis Review copy? The Smilin’ One’s not rich, yah know. Well, actually I am, but I’ll still take a free copy anyway! Your commanding officer will thank you!

Excelsior!

Smiley

COME WATSON, THE FRAME IS AFOOT!

2008-08-05T14:45:00.005-04:00

ITEM! Hi there, Heroes! Time for another clandestine clue concerning the mysterious Marvel ReMasterworks logo featured in yesterday’s blog! Get out your magnifying glasses, deerstalker caps and seven-percent solutions to solve this mystery, pilgrim. Your next clue? Submitted for your approval: a frame from a classic Lee-Kirby issue of the Fantastic Four, scanned with loving care from an original printing. Notice anything odd about it? It’s elementary, dear reader! What in the name of Galactus' lobster bib does it all mean, you ask? Keep those guesses coming, noble No-Prize seekers!

Excelsior!

Smiley

MARVEL Q2 REPORT: THE GOOSE THAT LAYS THE GOLDEN EGGS IS DOWN

2008-08-05T12:04:00.015-04:00

ITEM! Wouldja believe that even with the boffo box office performance of Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk, not to mention a Q2 earnings report showing a quantum leap from $101.5 million in 2007 to $156.9 million in 2008, that Marvel stock dropped on the NYSE by over 8% this morning? Ouch! That’s even going to hit Yours Truly right in my Aunt May pocketbook! What’s all the Wall Street fuss about? Are the bears and bulls fighting again? Or is it the Hulk and Wolverine?

Nope — turns out the problem is with the goose that lays the golden eggs, which is to say the publishing division. You know... the part of the company that actually creates the intellectual properties that in turn feed the rest of Marvel’s monolithic merchandising machine... the part your Uncle Stan used to run. While earnings were way up for Marvel’s in-house Film Production and Licensing divisions, the Publishing division was down over the same quarter a year ago for the second quarter in a row. Get all the gory details here.

So while the publishing goose may not be dead yet, he’s certainly feeling a little under the weather. And the comic shops and dealers that depend on direct sales of floppies (comic books) as much as droppies (trade paperbacks and hardback reprints that hurt if you drop them on your foot) are feeling the sales-pinch as well. Secret Invasion sales were expected to push the publishing division to “traditional margins for the full year 2008.” Those Skrulls better get pushing before the publishing division is pushing up Skrull-daisies. My retirement fund, should I ever actually do that sort of thing, is at stake! Yeesh! If yah ever need my help, Joe, all yah gotta do is call!

Excelsior!

Smiley

IF YOU REPRINT US, DO WE NOT READ? IF YOU REDRAW US, SHOULD WE NOT REVENGE?

2008-08-04T19:14:00.008-04:00

ITEM! You may have read some of the raucous rumblings regarding Marvel’s recent re-rendering of classic Kirby, Ditko, Colan and other Silver Age art for their various Marvel Masterworks reprints. If not, go see this studious summation over at 20th Century Danny Boy. What does any of that have to do with the price of trees in China? Well, we’re not quite ready to tell yah yet, Tiger! But your Uncle Stanley will tantalize and tease you with the logo for the next peerless pronouncement to grace this blog just about any day now. A specially-framed Forbush-approved No-Prize to the first clever commenter who correctly conjectures just what this creative caption shown below might conceal...

Excelsior!

Smiley

NEW GODS FOR OLD

2008-08-04T11:51:00.003-04:00

ITEM! Time to make an unbelievably unabashed plug for the Jack Kirby Museum, the Intraweb’s virtual online source for... well, in this case.... The Source! Wouldja believe that in all my 85 years your Uncle Stanley has never seen all of King Kirby’s New Gods character designs all at one time and in full, rich, living color? Until now, that is. Randy Rand Hoppe and the crew at The Kirby Museum (with a little help it seems from Chrissie Harper) have posted full-color scans of both sets of drawings: Jack’s New Gods designs (including a few that never made into his Unfinished Fourth World Symphony... Robot Defender or Black Sphynx anyone?), and another set of the Elder Norse Gods that looks as though he was working up a more adult retooling of Marvel’s classic The Mighty Thor. These drawings all feature fabulous Kirby pencils, Darling Don Heck inks, and Jack's unique polychrome color-sense to boot! Seeing these things reproduced in dodgy black-and-white magazines over the years clearly did not do them justice! I can’t remember what the original Metron piece fetched on ebay when it went up for sale a couple of years ago, but it would’ve been a bargain at twice the price! Click on any of Honest Irv’s Fourth World Thumbnails below to be whisked away by Blog-Boom Tube to the Jack Kirby Museum’s God’s Gallery! Enjoy!

Excelsior!

Smiley

"A" IS FOR ALLITERATIVE

2008-08-01T12:50:00.009-04:00

ITEM! You know, I’ve done my very best over the years to make Sturdy Steve Ditko happy... I really have. I’ve done everything from publishing a letter in the New York Times in which I stated plainly and for-the-record that I have always “considered” him the co-creator of Spider-Man, to voluntarily letting myself be grilled by that BBC-boob Jonathan Ross until some of my true feelings about the matter accidentally slipped past my normally glib and glamorous gab-hole (see video below). I’ve even made anonymous donations to anonymous libraries to try and straighten this creative-credit karma out. And what thanks do I get? I get to read blogs like this one by Matt Tauber.

Actually it’s a pretty good read, including a nice analysis of Ditko’s latest Avenging Mind comic/essay. You know, current efforts to properly credit my co-creators and keep my legendary literary legacy nice and shiny aside, your Uncle Stanley will have to redact himself from commenting on things written or said as long ago as 1974’s Origins of Marvel Comics. Was Yours Truly just grabbing any credit that wasn’t nailed down back then, or were Marvel’s entertainment attorneys breathing down my neck to ensure that a current work-for-hire employee was credited with creating everything? Who knows... I sure don’t. I have trouble remembering what I had for lunch yesterday, my-as-less what went on 30-40 years ago. And besides, if an 85-year-old man wants to think he mostly created (or co-created for Odin’s sake) the whole blamed Marvel Universe, why not let him? You’ll note that even after Steve and Jack left Marvel, the Smilin’ One went right on creating new characters. She-Hulk anyone? How ‘bout Stripperella?

Excelsior!

Smiley

FACE FRONT! LIFT YOUR HEAD! YOU'RE ON THE WINNING TEAM! 'NUFF SAID!

2008-08-01T10:01:00.005-04:00

ITEM! You’ve been asking for it! Now you're gonna get it! Never let it be said that your good ol’ Uncle Stan heeds not thy noble requests! For those of you not old enough to have enrolled yourselves into the timeless ranks of the Merry Marvel Marching Society (and let’s face it — if you are old enough to have been a member, you’re probably reading this from the safety of a 401k-funded La-Z-Boy Dreamtime Recliner), here at last is another of our bountiful blasts from the past. If you joined the MMMS circa 1967 or so, you received the following floppy vinyl record with your membership kit...

“Scream Along With Marvel” featured the official MMMS theme song as well as the Marvel Super Heroes Show theme — both songs with lyrics written by Yours Truly (as if you couldn’t tell by the arresting alliteration and rapturous rhymes) and performed by the Grantray-Lawrence Animation Singers! And rounding the whole package out was comic cover art by the always amazing Marvelous Marie Severin!

Want a little taste of what it was like to be a Merry Marvelite back in the days of Moon-shots and Asian hot-spots? Just click on Honest Irv’s multimedia thingies below, sit back, and prepare yourself for an audacious auditory adventure! And if you've got some shekels to burn, Mile High Comics even has a couple of these baby-boomer bad-boys for sale! Enjoy!

March-A-Long With Marvel

The Marvel Superheroes Have Arrived

Excelsior!

Smiley

ALWAYS BET ON THE DARK HORSE

2008-07-30T15:44:00.012-04:00

Welcome back to The Hype Box. Guest columnist J.S. here, giving Sir Stan a much-needed day off to catch his breath after another megalithic media-circus feeding-frenzy, otherwise known as Comic Con San Diego. And guess what? There was one announcement that most of the industry hacks and flacks missed. In their headlong rush to congratulate DC Comics for absorbing yet another competitor’s superhero pantheon (the Archie and Milestone heroes in this case), they missed out on Dark Horse Comics’ announcement that they were bringing back some characters very near and dear to my heart: Doctor Solar and Magnus Robot Fighter.

These Gold Key Comics heroes (who also once called a little ‘90s imprint named Valiant Comics home) will be appearing again later this year in all-new adventures published by Dark Horse. And just wait until you see what I have in store for these characters! I’ve already gotten the first year’s worth of plots and story arc worked out for both Solar and Magnus, and I’m ready to hand the first couple of scripts off to artists. The scale of these books is going to be so epic and mind-boggling that they’re going to make Secret Wars look like Secret Wars II. Which would be quite a feat, I'll grant you.

The only hold-up so far is that my agent is still waiting on the call from Dark Horse President Mike Richardson actually asking me to write these books — surely a mere formality at this point. And Barry Windsor-Smith hasn’t returned any of my calls as yet. But I assure you, gentle readers, that I’m poised and ready to create some truly great stories for Solar and Magnus... and if sales don’t start going up on Legion of Super-Heroes I may be ready sooner rather than later!

Take Care,

Shooter

CO-CREATORS, THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STORY

2008-07-29T12:51:00.005-04:00

ITEM! Hi there, Heroes! One of the reasons I started this off-the-record, off-the-wall and off-the-hook li’l eye-opener of a blog was to set the record straight and make some amenable amends to some of my co-creators past and present. And how better to tell their sensible side of the story than to let them do it for themselves? Once upon a time in a Silver Age far, far away, their were two extra features included in our 72-page annuals that were actually plotted, drawn and mostly written by Jolly Jack Kirby and Sturdy Steve Ditko, each representing their own facetious feelings about their respective collaborations with Yours Truly!

First up in The Amazing Spider-Man Annual #1 (Nov. 1964, natch) was Ditko’s imaginatively titled “How Stan Lee and Steve Ditko Create Spider-Man” (see selected panels below). Even then, Stevey-Boy was complaining about my practice of signing my name on anything and everything that wasn’t nailed down!

Then the King gives us his version of the Lee-Kirby collaborative process in the perhaps sarcastically entitled “This Is A Plot?” from The Fantastic Four Annual #5 (Nov. 1967, and if yah don’t already own this one and the Spidey Annual above, what the heck are yah waiting for? Irving Forbush’s Birthday? Marvel only reprints these things in about a gazillion different trade paperbacks and books! Get thee to a local comic shop now, pilgrim!). Jack actually did a pretty good job of capturing the simultaneous creative joy our plotting sessions, as well as the near-total lack of us actually listening to what the other was saying (see panels below).

What can I say? As in all writing and art, no matter how fictitious or fanciful the story, our true experiences and personas usually shine right on through. If I’da been Carl Jung instead of the liltin’ literary lengend that I was, I might have picked up on some of these clues to the future falling-outs your Uncle Stanley was destined to have with Kirby and Ditko. Ah well, you know what they say... blindsight is 20/20.

Excelsior!

Smiley

SEX APPEAL IS FIFTY PERCENT WHAT YOU'VE GOT...

2008-07-28T09:04:00.007-04:00

ITEM! ...and fifty percent what people think you’ve got, at least according to Sophia Loren. So while we were munging through the latest mass of manic missives from the Sock It To Stan emailage, we came across this one from Jumpin’ Jonathan Nolan of Queensland, Oz. Jon tipped us off about the latest “versus” poll being run over at the picesallmedia.com forums. Seems there’s a nifty new survey being taken called SEX APPEAL: Stan Lee vs. Joe Quesada.

Of course your Uncle Stan is the runaway winner thus far, not that current Marvel Editor-in-Chief Joe “Quickdraw” Quesada isn’t a moderately good-looking man in his own right. But quick show of hands: who’s partied with Rebecca Romijn, Pamela Anderson, and often been mistaken for Hugh Hefner? Sit down, Tommy Lee... you don’t count!

Still, there’s no sense in taking any chances. All Keepers of the Faith should go visit this sensual census and remember what a man named Milhous once said: vote early, and vote often!

Excelsior!

Smiley

MARVELOUS DAYS OF CONS GONE BY

2008-07-28T00:06:00.005-04:00

ITEM! Even though I’m back home soaking my tired and tortured tootsies in my admantium-lined jacuzzi at Casa Del Lee, I just had to wax a little nostalgic about the long and winding road these comic book conventions have taken us all on. MMMS member-in-good-standing #7420 Homer J. got me started when sent in this scan to the ol' Sock It To Stan emails box! It's quite the reminder of dazzling days gone by!

Marvel-Con ’76 may not have been as luminous and large as San Diego, but dog-gone if we didn’t have us some fun back when we were all a little brighter-eyed and bushier-tailed. Can you imagine getting a 3-hour art lesson from the master John Buscema himself? Or writing lessons at the feet of Rascally Roy Thomas? And if yah got bored by all that, there were Free Kung Fu exhibitions! Man-o-man, them were the days! Thanks for the teary-eyed trip down memory lane, Homer! Consider yourself No-Prized, Good Sir!

Excelsior!

Smiley

SAN DIEGO COMIC CON - THE WRAP-UP

2008-07-27T23:21:00.002-04:00

ITEM! San Diego Comic Con — Is there anything more magnificent than 125,000+ True Believers all united in a single purpose, i.e. finding the nearest little-fanboys-room? The crowds were unbelievable, the fun indescribable, and the excitement unimaginable. Besides all the many and marvelous projects your Uncle Stanley was hawking like a manic madman at the Con, I was even honored Friday night to be in the audience when the Distinguished Competition’s Major Mojo, Paul “Leave it To” Levitz, got his shiny Bob Clampett Humanitarian Eisner Award. You pilgrims probably don’t understand what it means for a publisher to get anything with the word “humanitarian” in it. Publishing is a tough biz, and usually when you’re in the position of making the hard calls and taking the rough falls, folks rarely think of you as human, much less humanitarian. Well, except for Yours Truly, of course, but that’s magnanimous and munificent me. Congratz, Mr. Levitz!... and hang onto that thing for dear life. It’ll come in handy later for beating freelancers back into submission when they’re missing more deadlines than Doc Doom’s hairdresser!

Excelsior!

Smiley