WANNA TRADE ME FOR THIS COMIC?

ITEM! Thanks to Marvel Editor Tom Breevort, not to mention my own legendary generosity, you can now trade me for the pictured comic, complete with a certifiably authentic autograph from Yours Truly! I kid you not, bright-eyed one! Haul your tremblin’ web-browser over to Titanic Tom’s blog at Marvel.com and see how you can trade comics with Tom, your Uncle Stanley, and a massive multitude other Merry Marvel Madmen and Mavens — all to benefit the Hero Initiative! You can improve your comic book collection and your cosmic karma all in one fell swoop. Who says this isn’t the Marvel Age of Aligning Personal Self Interest with the Greater Good? Get thee hence for all the details...

Excelsior!

Smiley

SNICKETY-SNICK! IT'S CAMEO TIME!

ITEM! Hey there, Heroes! If you think it’s easy keeping you Manic Ones informed via this utterly under-the-radar, under-my-lawyer’s-nose blog — you’re right! There’s been a lot going on lately, not the least of which is Yours Truly filming his cataclysmic cameo for X-Men Origins: Wolverine! As you probably already know, though the majority of the movie was shot in merry ol’ land of Oz, reshoots have been taking place up in Vancouver. And Grandma Lieber’s favorite grandson was there acting it up in what is sure to be my best cameo this side of a Hugh Hefner wannabe. Obviously I can’t give away all the juicy details now... that’ll have to wait until after Fox’s check has cleared my bank account. But stay tuned, True Believers! There's more to come on this...

Excelsior!

Smiley

THE AXEMAN COMETH

ITEM! It’s not everyday that your ol’ Uncle Stanley gets to keep on truckin’ with the likes of George Lucas, Devo, and Seth Green. Well okay... Seth Green would wash my Benz if I let him... but you know what I mean. What do all of the above and Yours Truly have in common, you ask? Why, we were all invited to design custom Gibson guitars for the upcoming Phoenix Guitar Gala & Carnaval Fundraiser, that’s what, sunshine! Click thee here for the whole story.

And just in case you can’t make the transcontinental trek to the Haus Fortuna in Petaluma, Cali-forn-i-ay (where the guitar designed by mois with a little help from Irving Forbush III) is displayed, here’s a pic to print out and frame for your very own, pilgrims! Why did I use a four-necked guitar you ask? Because that was the only way to get my smilin’ face as life-size and lifelike as possible. I may be accused of many things, but disappointing my adoring public will never be on the list! 

Excelsior!

Smiley

CAN YOU SEE WHAT I'M UP AGAINST?

ITEM! Under the category of misleading misprints comes this one from Brit newspaper The Guardian: “Stan Lee ‘to create world’s first gay superhero’.” Waitwhowhatwhere? I swear to Odin this stuff happens to me all the time. What the reporter (and I use the term loosely here) was trying to write a story about is my upcoming turn as executive producer on the cable TV adaptation of Perry Moore’s excellent novel, Hero. A novel that Mr. Moore wrote, by-the-by, in specific response to Marvel’s portrayal of the death of the real first openly gay superhero, Northstar. Not that’s there’s anything wrong with that.

I know that being misrepresented by the press is just the price you pay when you’re as famous, fabulous, and most of all modest, as Yours Truly is, but wallopin’ web-snappers! Plus, as the more sagacious among you already know, “executive producer” is just Hollywood speak for “sit down and shut up while we attach your name to this project to get studio funding behind it.” Goodness gracious, me. If your Uncle Stanley was in any way connected creatively with this project, I’d probably have Thom Creed team up with Stripperella after a patented Stan Lee opening scene where the two heroes mistook each other for super villains and slugged it out for about 10 minutes. While spouting a shakespearian soliloquy. In a mud wrestling pit. With Bruce Campbell as the referee. Now THAT would be entertainment, folks!

Excelsior!

Smiley

NICK FURY IS SAMUEL L. JACKSON

ITEM! You can all relax about this story in yesterday’s L.A. Times, Frantic Ones. Yours Truly just got off the phone with Samuel “Oh I’m Sorry Did I Break Your Concentration” Jackson and everything’s going to be fine, fine, fine. Not to blow his cover, but you Marvelites deserve to know that Sam will absolutely end up playing S.H.I.E.L.D. head honcho Nick Fury in Iron Man 2 and The Avengers movie if Jon “Fan Fave” Favreau and your Uncle Stanley have anything to say about it. Sammy and his agent are just playing a little hardball right now with Marvel Studios Chairman David Maisel, that’s all. Would you expect anything less from Sam the Man? Relax. This is just how things are done here in Tinsel-Town. I do the same thing myself whenever it’s time to negotiate the fee for my next cameo role, or as I like to call them, “Joanie’s next Benz.” ‘Nuff Said! 

Excelsior!

Smiley

THE KIRBY ALPHABET

ITEM! This Merry Marvel Meme has already been all over the Internets and the Google, but you know what they say — better late than clever. Just in case you missed it, we here in Soapboxland proudly present the following for your cultural edification and comical education: Brit cartoonist Roger Langridge’s The Kirby Alphabet (just click on the image below for a Galactus-sized view). Rollickin’ Roger is primarily known for his winsome webcomic, The Hotel Fred, which you can check out right here. Enjoy it, Marvel Mavens!

Excelsior!

Smiley

CITY OF HEROES NOW FOR PC AND MAC

ITEM! Wowsir! The apple of my computer eye — my adopted great-grandson Irving Forbush III — just brought this game to my octogenarian attention. Though your ol’ Uncle Stanley has never played one of these Marvelously Majestic Online Role-playing Games before, even I have to admit that NCsoft’s City of Heroes is a fantastic game. Read all about it here. And now apparently it’s available on both PC and Mac! That means that Yours Truly can play it at the POW! offices on my Dell, or on the road using the Macbook Pro that Honest Irv has been jamming down my throat these past few months. So if you’re a City of Heroes player and see Excelsior-Man go flying by in his pressed black slacks, prescription shades and windbreaker, be sure and wave! Meantime, here’s an online commercial announcing the new Mac version that’s a razor-sharp parody of Apple’s famous “I’m a PC, and I’m a Mac” commercials. Now why hasn’t anyone else ever thought of that before? 

Excelsior!

Smiley

GALACTUS — CLEAN & SOBER IN L.A.

ITEM! As you may recall from previous Soapbox soliloquies here and here, the Big G has fallen on some heinously hard times over the last few years. Well, guess what, Heroes? It looks like the World Devourer is finally getting back up on his feet!

Last week Joanie and I decided to pull over and and grab a bite at a Southern Californian Steak ‘n Shake and lo-and-behold, who do you think greeted us at the door as the brand new assistant day shift manager? If you guessed ol’ Purple Boots, then move yourself to the head of the class, pilgrim! As he later explained while sitting with us, it seems that Galactus has gotten himself cleaned up and has entered a 12-Step program for planet-eating addicts. The G-Man said it had been over six months since he’d eaten so much as a comet, moon or planetoid, and that the last time he’d had a craving he settled for a Steak ‘n Shake triple-decker with fries and a malted instead! I have to say that he looked really good, though he was still sporting a bit of a Flintstone four o’clock shadow (see pics below).

After lunch, Joanie wished him well with his recovery, and Galactus waved us a gracious good-bye and said that if he slipped, we’d be the first to know about it. Happy Trails Big Guy!

Excelsior!

Smiley

WELL HERE'S YOUR BASIC TROUBLE RIGHT HERE...

THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS SNUBS HOWARD THE DUCK

ITEM! Every year the Library of Congress and the National Film Registry select several movies to be preserved in their air-tight archives for all eternity. The criteria is that a film be "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant." This year, several genre films were added, including James Cameron’s The Terminator, James Whales’ classic 1933 version of The Invisible Man, and even the Ray Harryhausen tour-de-force The 7th Voyage of Sinbad.

Unbelievably though, there’s still no love for the very first Marvel Movie ever — Howard the Duck. Although the movie tanked at the box office when first released, it’s gone on to become a cult classic. And you don’t get much more “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant” than a movie about the love between a wayfaring water fowl and Lea Thompson! What can you, the very model of a Modern Merry Marvelite, do to address this grave injustice you ask? Your Fearless Leader is here to help! Just go directly to the National Film Registry’s website and nominate the Master of Quack Fu for inclusion in the archives for 2009! What’s that you say? Some of the more culturally deprived among you have never even seen the Howard the Duck movie? Well say no more, oh lost and lonely pilgrim of the cinematic wastelands! I'm here for you! You can watch the entire movie right here at the ol’ Soapbox! Who says this isn’t the Marvel Age of instant gratification?

Excelsior!

Smiley

SLING US A WEB, YOU'RE THE SPIDER-MAN

ITEM! As some Fearless Front Facers may recall, there was a bit of a controversy surrounding the scoring of the Spider-Man 2 movie. Daring Danny Elfman turned in his sizzling score and the producers were (for some bizarre reason) dissatisfied with parts of it and brought in Christopher Young and John Debney to re-score select scenes... much to the chagrin of the Elfman. What you may NOT know is that Misters Young and Debney were not the only alternative musical artists solicited to submit work for the new score.

Many thanks to faithful MMMS member-in-good-standing Wild Bill Gladman over at ComicRelated.com for sending this tidbit in to the ol’ Soapbox! Submitted for your approval is Weird Al Yankovic’s ultimately rejected opening theme for Spider-Man 2. According to Bill, it’s kinda like what you’d get if Billy Joel was bitten by a radioactive accordion. Enjoy! 

Excelsior!

Smiley

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

ITEM! I know... I know. It may seem a tad bit immodest of your ol’ Uncle Stan to be wishing himself a happy birthday, but what the hey! One of the great things about getting to be my age is you can pretty much do as you please and no one says boo to you about it! The Spider-Phone was practically ringing off the wall yesterday with birthday well-wishers. Well technically, it was ringing off my belt clip, but you get the idea. As I said to Madcap Mark Evanier, “When 86 years old you reach, look as good you will not!” Late last night Marvel Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada even called to wish me a happy-happy. Man-alive! I guess it’s time to get my number changed again.

Excelsior!

Smiley

MARVEL/DC: THE MOVIE!

ITEM! As discerning Marvelites already know, we here in Soapboxland regularly feature videos from YouToober ItsJustSomeRandomGuy... and today is no exception! This new Marvel/DC “After Hours” series of his has really got it all. It’s got pathos, it’s got plot, it’s got Yours Truly in a dual cameo playing both myself and a Life Model Decoy copy of the Smilin’ One. I gotta get Marvel Studios brand spankin’ new COO Tim Conners to hire this guy! These videos could serve as the animatics of the next great Merry Marvel Movie franchise... which frankly would really cut down on the cost of hiring a bunch of high-salaried, high-maintenance screenwriters. Hoo-hah! In the meantime, enjoy!

Excelsior!

Smiley

MIGHTY MARVEL MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY

ITEM! Yup, there’s nothing like surprising your employees first thing Monday morning with a few motivational posters strategically placed about the office space. And nothing bucks up morale like posters featuring your Fearless Leader’s smiling face! These motivational monographs aren’t just for the entertainment lawyers and media agents working with me here at POW! Entertainment, by-the-by. Feel free to print ‘em out and post ‘em around your own workspace. WARNING: Uncle Stan’s Marvelous Motivational Posters have been shown to cause dizziness, nausea, and brain tumors in laboratory mice, and may not be safe for children under 12, if pregnant, or if you have a history of middling-to-good taste. Blog visits over four hours are not normal, and you should consult a physician if refreshes persist. Enjoy! 

Excelsior!

Smiley

CRY COMICS — CRY HAVOC!

ITEM! It seems that the comics industry is in peril, and every Wednesday is turning into “Black Wednesday” as the sales figures continue to slowly decline. For a comprehensive compendium of this week’s frantic fallout, go see this story over at Heidi MacDonald’s The Beat blog. Things look dire indeed. One might be inclined to ask at this point, whither comic books?

Don’t you believe it, Fearless Ones! Take it from my octogenarian outlook. The comics industry has struggled before and folks have been predicting its imminent demise starting all the way back in the early 50s (thank you, Dr. Fredric “Rabble Rouser” Wertham). The only difference between then and now are the miles on the odometer, baby.

Are there fundamental problems in creative content and distribution channels that need addressing? Absolutely! Has the game changed almost entirely with the introduction of new technologies and new digital media? You bet’cha! But is it really the end of serialized graphic storytelling as we know it? Not on your life, pilgrim! The comics industry isn’t any different from the auto industry, the banking system or the housing market. The comics have just got to get with the times and figure out how to best take advantage of the new media opportunities and stop trying to fight an Information Age battle with last century’s editorial tanks and planes. 

You know, it’s times like these that I really miss Jolly Jack Kirby. He had a prescient practice of prophesying these portents and omens way before the rest of us caught up to the future. For example, Jack foretold the coming of graphic novels and their sale in chain bookstores decades before the practice became commonplace. If he was here with us now, he’d probably just rattle off the entire solution to the industry’s current problems over a turkey and gravy sandwich at lunch! Still, there’s a solution out there. All we have to do as an industry is find it. So keep the home fires burning, True Believers. And until Joe Quesada reveals that Aunt May is secretly a Skrull agent, keep Making Yours Marvel! 

Excelsior!

Smiley