THE LIBRARY OF CONGRESS SNUBS HOWARD THE DUCK

ITEM! Every year the Library of Congress and the National Film Registry select several movies to be preserved in their air-tight archives for all eternity. The criteria is that a film be "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant." This year, several genre films were added, including James Cameron’s The Terminator, James Whales’ classic 1933 version of The Invisible Man, and even the Ray Harryhausen tour-de-force The 7th Voyage of Sinbad.

Unbelievably though, there’s still no love for the very first Marvel Movie ever — Howard the Duck. Although the movie tanked at the box office when first released, it’s gone on to become a cult classic. And you don’t get much more “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant” than a movie about the love between a wayfaring water fowl and Lea Thompson! What can you, the very model of a Modern Merry Marvelite, do to address this grave injustice you ask? Your Fearless Leader is here to help! Just go directly to the National Film Registry’s website and nominate the Master of Quack Fu for inclusion in the archives for 2009! What’s that you say? Some of the more culturally deprived among you have never even seen the Howard the Duck movie? Well say no more, oh lost and lonely pilgrim of the cinematic wastelands! I'm here for you! You can watch the entire movie right here at the ol’ Soapbox! Who says this isn’t the Marvel Age of instant gratification?

Excelsior!

Smiley

SLING US A WEB, YOU'RE THE SPIDER-MAN

ITEM! As some Fearless Front Facers may recall, there was a bit of a controversy surrounding the scoring of the Spider-Man 2 movie. Daring Danny Elfman turned in his sizzling score and the producers were (for some bizarre reason) dissatisfied with parts of it and brought in Christopher Young and John Debney to re-score select scenes... much to the chagrin of the Elfman. What you may NOT know is that Misters Young and Debney were not the only alternative musical artists solicited to submit work for the new score.

Many thanks to faithful MMMS member-in-good-standing Wild Bill Gladman over at ComicRelated.com for sending this tidbit in to the ol’ Soapbox! Submitted for your approval is Weird Al Yankovic’s ultimately rejected opening theme for Spider-Man 2. According to Bill, it’s kinda like what you’d get if Billy Joel was bitten by a radioactive accordion. Enjoy! 

Excelsior!

Smiley

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

ITEM! I know... I know. It may seem a tad bit immodest of your ol’ Uncle Stan to be wishing himself a happy birthday, but what the hey! One of the great things about getting to be my age is you can pretty much do as you please and no one says boo to you about it! The Spider-Phone was practically ringing off the wall yesterday with birthday well-wishers. Well technically, it was ringing off my belt clip, but you get the idea. As I said to Madcap Mark Evanier, “When 86 years old you reach, look as good you will not!” Late last night Marvel Editor-in-Chief Joe Quesada even called to wish me a happy-happy. Man-alive! I guess it’s time to get my number changed again.

Excelsior!

Smiley

MARVEL/DC: THE MOVIE!

ITEM! As discerning Marvelites already know, we here in Soapboxland regularly feature videos from YouToober ItsJustSomeRandomGuy... and today is no exception! This new Marvel/DC “After Hours” series of his has really got it all. It’s got pathos, it’s got plot, it’s got Yours Truly in a dual cameo playing both myself and a Life Model Decoy copy of the Smilin’ One. I gotta get Marvel Studios brand spankin’ new COO Tim Conners to hire this guy! These videos could serve as the animatics of the next great Merry Marvel Movie franchise... which frankly would really cut down on the cost of hiring a bunch of high-salaried, high-maintenance screenwriters. Hoo-hah! In the meantime, enjoy!

Excelsior!

Smiley

MIGHTY MARVEL MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY

ITEM! Yup, there’s nothing like surprising your employees first thing Monday morning with a few motivational posters strategically placed about the office space. And nothing bucks up morale like posters featuring your Fearless Leader’s smiling face! These motivational monographs aren’t just for the entertainment lawyers and media agents working with me here at POW! Entertainment, by-the-by. Feel free to print ‘em out and post ‘em around your own workspace. WARNING: Uncle Stan’s Marvelous Motivational Posters have been shown to cause dizziness, nausea, and brain tumors in laboratory mice, and may not be safe for children under 12, if pregnant, or if you have a history of middling-to-good taste. Blog visits over four hours are not normal, and you should consult a physician if refreshes persist. Enjoy! 

Excelsior!

Smiley

CRY COMICS — CRY HAVOC!

ITEM! It seems that the comics industry is in peril, and every Wednesday is turning into “Black Wednesday” as the sales figures continue to slowly decline. For a comprehensive compendium of this week’s frantic fallout, go see this story over at Heidi MacDonald’s The Beat blog. Things look dire indeed. One might be inclined to ask at this point, whither comic books?

Don’t you believe it, Fearless Ones! Take it from my octogenarian outlook. The comics industry has struggled before and folks have been predicting its imminent demise starting all the way back in the early 50s (thank you, Dr. Fredric “Rabble Rouser” Wertham). The only difference between then and now are the miles on the odometer, baby.

Are there fundamental problems in creative content and distribution channels that need addressing? Absolutely! Has the game changed almost entirely with the introduction of new technologies and new digital media? You bet’cha! But is it really the end of serialized graphic storytelling as we know it? Not on your life, pilgrim! The comics industry isn’t any different from the auto industry, the banking system or the housing market. The comics have just got to get with the times and figure out how to best take advantage of the new media opportunities and stop trying to fight an Information Age battle with last century’s editorial tanks and planes. 

You know, it’s times like these that I really miss Jolly Jack Kirby. He had a prescient practice of prophesying these portents and omens way before the rest of us caught up to the future. For example, Jack foretold the coming of graphic novels and their sale in chain bookstores decades before the practice became commonplace. If he was here with us now, he’d probably just rattle off the entire solution to the industry’s current problems over a turkey and gravy sandwich at lunch! Still, there’s a solution out there. All we have to do as an industry is find it. So keep the home fires burning, True Believers. And until Joe Quesada reveals that Aunt May is secretly a Skrull agent, keep Making Yours Marvel! 

Excelsior!

Smiley

MEET GENE COLAN LIVE AND IN-PERSON!

ITEM! That’s right, Frantic Ones! This is your chance to meet one of the artful architects of the Marvel Age of Comics live and in-person! Where-oh-where can one be granted an audience with Gentleman Gene Colan you ask? Why, at Lee’s Comics in Mountain View, Californ-i-ay on Saturday, December 6 from 2:00-4:00 p.m... that’s where! And if you’ve never ever set foot inside this proud winner of the first-ever Excelsior Award for Comic Shop Excellence, then this is your chance to correct the mistake of a lifetime! For details and up-to-the-minute information, just go to Lee’s Comics website and enjoy web-browsing at the website of a comic shop so hip, slick and cool that only Alex Ross could have designed their logo! I kid you not. So what are you waiting for? Latverian New Year? Gas up the car or buy a plane ticket and get thee to this earnest event! You’ll be glad you did!

Excelsior!

Smiley

FACE IT BLOCKHEAD, YOU JUST HIT THE JACKPOT!

ITEM! Good grief! Just when you thought it was safe to fly a kite past the kite-eating trees — here comes Boisterous Brit artist JDH with his manic mash-ups of the Peanuts gang and ol’ Merry Marvel! Believe me when I tell you gang, it’s worth clicking on this link just to see Snoopy going down in flames atop his doghouse screaming, “Curse you, Baron Zemo!” Submitted herein for your approval is a mere smattering of the Peanuts-covered goodness that awaits you here. Get you appetite whetted here, then go and check out the funniest toons this side of Doc Doom’s doodle pad! Tell ‘em your Uncle Stanley sent yah!

Excelsior!

Smiley

THOR #600 WRITTEN BY YOU-KNOW-WHO!

ITEM! Here it is — the big news you’ve been waiting on. You see, a few months back Marvel approached me about scripting the special anniversary ish of Thor #600. The only problem with that is the monolithic pile of other writing projects I have sitting on my now creaking desk. I had a similar problem back in the late 50s and early 60s trying to single-handedly write 10-12 issues per month for Mighty Marvel. Of course, the eventual solution to this problem resulted in the invention of the famous “Marvel Method,” by which process I would merely type up a short synopsis or have a brief phone confab with the artist, let ‘em rip out around 24 pages of serialized graphic continuity, and then go in and dialogue and caption the pencilled art. And the results, as they say, spoke for themselves! Manic Marvel Magic!

These days between studio first-look projects and other obligations, I don’t even begin to have the time for even that participate process. Well as William Shakespeare once said, “Needs must as the devil drives.” And so, without further ado, your ol’ Uncle Stanley introduces you to his latest, greatest writing method: the “Marvel Marvel Method!” For Thor #600, Yours Truly had a quick phone conference with regular Thor scripter Michael J. Straczynski, and voila! Mr. Babylon-5 did all the rest of the literary heavy lifting together with award-winning artist Olivier Colpel and David Aja. You can read all about the project right here!

If this works out, I may try to refine the process even further, eventually reducing my own workload to just signing my name to the comic. Grandma Leiber always said, “Do what you do best.” I say thee Yay!

Excelsior!

Smiley

I'M A MARVEL... AND I'M A DC: PARENTAL ADVICE EDITION

ITEM! Hey there, heroes! For those still getting over a bad case of PTSD (Post Turkey Stress Disorder), here's another installment of YouToober ItsJustSomeRandomGuy's I'm a Marvel... and I'm a DC series. Everyone here in Soapboxland, from Yours Truly to bouncing baby Irving Forbush IV, just love this guy's cavortin' comedic clips. In this episode, Spidey and Stupes get some unexpected parental advice from beyond the grave. 'Nuff Said!

Excelsior!

Smiley