HEROES IN RATINGS SLUMP: ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY SUGGESTS SOME FIXES

ITEM! It seems that my favorite TV show this side of Who Wants To Be a Superhero is experiencing a ratings slump of late, and Entertainment Weekly has suggested some solutions in it's cover story Heroes: Five Ways to Fix a Series In Crisis. Everyone’s entitled to their opposing opinion I suppose, but who are we kidding? Monday morning quarterbacking from Entertainment Weekly? I wonder how People Magazine or Tiger Beat would fix the series?Your Uncle Stanley used to go through this same dynamic with my publisher/uncle-in-law Martin Goodman. You know why Uncle Marty never wrote comics? For the same reason the writers of EW aren’t producing quality network TV shows — because they can’t. You know the old saying, “Those who can, do. Those who can’t become Hollywood flacks.” 

Personally, Yours Truly still enjoys Heroes as must-see-Monday-night-TV. If the Smilin’ One was going to offer up any constructive criticism to show runner Tim Kring — from one sense-shattering serial scripter to another — it would just be to do some more stunt-casting cross-overs with A-list television and movie stars, like... I dunno... say the creator of the Marvel Universe and the elder statesman of all things hip, slick and cool?A certain bus-driving guest star from season one, episode 16 comes to mind. He could be revealed to actually be Grandfather Petrelli, the long-lost patriarch of the clan who has the ability of rapid ratings regeneration! He would need to have a couple of really hot, super-powered younger girlfriends, though, as back-up. Hey! I think I'm onto something here! I’ll have my people call your people! We’ll do lunch, okay?

Excelsior!

Smiley

"HEROES" COMIC CREATOR CAMEO CONTEST

ITEM! Hey there Heroes! Speaking of cameos, it's time for a new contest. The name of this one is the “Let’s All Write Tim Kring and Petition Him To Bring Back Yours Truly In Another Acclaimed Cameo Role Contest!” 

Here’s the pitch: whatever happened to that mysterious Greyhound Bus driver in the Season One episode “Unexpected”? Is he secretly Nathan, Peter and Sylar’s grandfather? What’s his power? Is it to transport people via teleportation or diesel-engined mass public transportation? Maybe I could even have Mark Evanier along as my ever-faithful trusty side-kick? Enquiring True Believers want to know! Also my bank account could use the extra boost. It’s gonna be awhile between now and the next Merry Marvel Movie cameo, if you know what I mean. What do you win if you write in? Why you win the ever-lasting joy of seeing your Uncle Stanley giving another Emmy Award-winning performance on the hottest show on network television, natch! So what are you waiting on? A personal invite from Future Hiro?

To enter the contest, send your credible cards and liltin’ letters to:

Tim Kring

Endeavor Agency

9601 Wilshire Blvd. 3rd Floor

Beverly Hills, CA 90212

Excelsior!

Smiley

SPORE - SO EASY EVEN AN 85-YEAR-OLD CAN PLAY IT!

ITEM! It’s not often that a computer game comes along that really catches my fancy. Let’s face it — I'm old. As a teenager back in Depression-era New York, the closest thing we had to computer games was a quick pick-up of "kick the soup-kitchen bum." But I gotta tell yah this Spore game by Maxis has me glued to my Dell computer, creating comical creatures and conquering cosmic civilizations when I should be writing scripts for the seven zillion projects I’m signed up to produce. Who says you need any artistic sensibilities to create great characters? Not Yours Truly — not after playing around with Spore. Honest Irv has even embedded one of those YooToobs below so you can see my very own sizzling Spore creation, the Mystical Mister Multi-Limb!

And it’s not just your Uncle Stanley who’s caught up in the Spore craze! Celebs ranging from my main-man Richard Branson to Heroes’ Masi Oka to Ozland's  Flight of the Conchords have created Spore creatures for your electronic edification! I kid you not! So what are you waiting for? Latverain New Year? Go get this game! Where else do you get to play a character that starts as a humble microbe who eventually works his way up to starship captain? The only thing missing from this game? One word — Galactus! Ah well, maybe in Spore II... 

Excelsior!

Smiley

HEROES COMES BACK WITH A BANG

ITEM! My favorite TV show this side of Who Wants To Be A Superhero is finally back — NBC’s Heroes. And brother did it come back with a Big-Bang! We finally learned who shot Nathan Petrelli, that even Sylar can’t kill Claire, and what power Momma Pertelli has been hiding all this time. The only burning cliffhanger plot point not resolved is one that’s been hanging in the air since all the way back in Season 1... namely, what power did that mysterious Greyhound Bus driver have (you know, the one that gave Hiro a lift way back in Episode 16 “Unexpected”)? I’m guessing he has the ability to dialogue his way out of any situation, but that’s just wild speculation on my part. Watch the clip below and decide for yourself!

Excelsior!

Smiley