THE AXEMAN COMETH

ITEM! It’s not everyday that your ol’ Uncle Stanley gets to keep on truckin’ with the likes of George Lucas, Devo, and Seth Green. Well okay... Seth Green would wash my Benz if I let him... but you know what I mean. What do all of the above and Yours Truly have in common, you ask? Why, we were all invited to design custom Gibson guitars for the upcoming Phoenix Guitar Gala & Carnaval Fundraiser, that’s what, sunshine! Click thee here for the whole story.

And just in case you can’t make the transcontinental trek to the Haus Fortuna in Petaluma, Cali-forn-i-ay (where the guitar designed by mois with a little help from Irving Forbush III) is displayed, here’s a pic to print out and frame for your very own, pilgrims! Why did I use a four-necked guitar you ask? Because that was the only way to get my smilin’ face as life-size and lifelike as possible. I may be accused of many things, but disappointing my adoring public will never be on the list! 

Excelsior!

Smiley

CAN YOU SEE WHAT I'M UP AGAINST?

ITEM! Under the category of misleading misprints comes this one from Brit newspaper The Guardian: “Stan Lee ‘to create world’s first gay superhero’.” Waitwhowhatwhere? I swear to Odin this stuff happens to me all the time. What the reporter (and I use the term loosely here) was trying to write a story about is my upcoming turn as executive producer on the cable TV adaptation of Perry Moore’s excellent novel, Hero. A novel that Mr. Moore wrote, by-the-by, in specific response to Marvel’s portrayal of the death of the real first openly gay superhero, Northstar. Not that’s there’s anything wrong with that.

I know that being misrepresented by the press is just the price you pay when you’re as famous, fabulous, and most of all modest, as Yours Truly is, but wallopin’ web-snappers! Plus, as the more sagacious among you already know, “executive producer” is just Hollywood speak for “sit down and shut up while we attach your name to this project to get studio funding behind it.” Goodness gracious, me. If your Uncle Stanley was in any way connected creatively with this project, I’d probably have Thom Creed team up with Stripperella after a patented Stan Lee opening scene where the two heroes mistook each other for super villains and slugged it out for about 10 minutes. While spouting a shakespearian soliloquy. In a mud wrestling pit. With Bruce Campbell as the referee. Now THAT would be entertainment, folks!

Excelsior!

Smiley

NICK FURY IS SAMUEL L. JACKSON

ITEM! You can all relax about this story in yesterday’s L.A. Times, Frantic Ones. Yours Truly just got off the phone with Samuel “Oh I’m Sorry Did I Break Your Concentration” Jackson and everything’s going to be fine, fine, fine. Not to blow his cover, but you Marvelites deserve to know that Sam will absolutely end up playing S.H.I.E.L.D. head honcho Nick Fury in Iron Man 2 and The Avengers movie if Jon “Fan Fave” Favreau and your Uncle Stanley have anything to say about it. Sammy and his agent are just playing a little hardball right now with Marvel Studios Chairman David Maisel, that’s all. Would you expect anything less from Sam the Man? Relax. This is just how things are done here in Tinsel-Town. I do the same thing myself whenever it’s time to negotiate the fee for my next cameo role, or as I like to call them, “Joanie’s next Benz.” ‘Nuff Said! 

Excelsior!

Smiley

THE KIRBY ALPHABET

ITEM! This Merry Marvel Meme has already been all over the Internets and the Google, but you know what they say — better late than clever. Just in case you missed it, we here in Soapboxland proudly present the following for your cultural edification and comical education: Brit cartoonist Roger Langridge’s The Kirby Alphabet (just click on the image below for a Galactus-sized view). Rollickin’ Roger is primarily known for his winsome webcomic, The Hotel Fred, which you can check out right here. Enjoy it, Marvel Mavens!

Excelsior!

Smiley

CITY OF HEROES NOW FOR PC AND MAC

ITEM! Wowsir! The apple of my computer eye — my adopted great-grandson Irving Forbush III — just brought this game to my octogenarian attention. Though your ol’ Uncle Stanley has never played one of these Marvelously Majestic Online Role-playing Games before, even I have to admit that NCsoft’s City of Heroes is a fantastic game. Read all about it here. And now apparently it’s available on both PC and Mac! That means that Yours Truly can play it at the POW! offices on my Dell, or on the road using the Macbook Pro that Honest Irv has been jamming down my throat these past few months. So if you’re a City of Heroes player and see Excelsior-Man go flying by in his pressed black slacks, prescription shades and windbreaker, be sure and wave! Meantime, here’s an online commercial announcing the new Mac version that’s a razor-sharp parody of Apple’s famous “I’m a PC, and I’m a Mac” commercials. Now why hasn’t anyone else ever thought of that before? 

Excelsior!

Smiley

GALACTUS — CLEAN & SOBER IN L.A.

ITEM! As you may recall from previous Soapbox soliloquies here and here, the Big G has fallen on some heinously hard times over the last few years. Well, guess what, Heroes? It looks like the World Devourer is finally getting back up on his feet!

Last week Joanie and I decided to pull over and and grab a bite at a Southern Californian Steak ‘n Shake and lo-and-behold, who do you think greeted us at the door as the brand new assistant day shift manager? If you guessed ol’ Purple Boots, then move yourself to the head of the class, pilgrim! As he later explained while sitting with us, it seems that Galactus has gotten himself cleaned up and has entered a 12-Step program for planet-eating addicts. The G-Man said it had been over six months since he’d eaten so much as a comet, moon or planetoid, and that the last time he’d had a craving he settled for a Steak ‘n Shake triple-decker with fries and a malted instead! I have to say that he looked really good, though he was still sporting a bit of a Flintstone four o’clock shadow (see pics below).

After lunch, Joanie wished him well with his recovery, and Galactus waved us a gracious good-bye and said that if he slipped, we’d be the first to know about it. Happy Trails Big Guy!

Excelsior!

Smiley

WELL HERE'S YOUR BASIC TROUBLE RIGHT HERE...