ITEM! Hang Loose, Heroes! Just wanted to take a li’l breather today from all the nebulous news and gratuitous gossip and say... it’s good to be me! Your Uncle Stanley has more projects going than you can shake a creator credit at, and sometimes I forget to stop and smell the posies. Comic cameos, mega movie deals, munificent manga, and all manner of other lucratively licensed properties and projects... not bad for your average ornery octogenarian! At UCLA they’re even thinking of naming a wing of the Law School after me in gratitude for all the attorneys I’m gainfully employing in Hollywood right now.
I do want to address one concern that I’ve overheard in some Wall Street circles. Although the Smilin’ One no longer has his own teeth, hair or knees, there’s nothin’ wrong with my hearing. I overheard a remark the other day to the effect, “So long as Stan stays alive, we’re all money!”
Let me assure you, Mister Wall Street Investor. Yours Truly plans on living another 20+ years at the very least. I have signed contracts that last that long! And please note: none of them are contracts that involve deals with supernatural forces in exchange for my soul. Marvel still has that little item locked up in a vault somewhere at 387 Park Avenue South! Mine and Kirby’s... but who am I to complain? Life is pretty damn sweet from where I’m sitting, and your Uncle Stan intends to continue to enjoy the view for a good long time to come. You’ve been warned, True Believers!
Excelsior!
Smiley
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