Monday, April 21, 2008

AN ANNOUNCEMENT FOR YOUR VIRGINAL EARS

ITEM! Mucho Graciousness to the L.A. Times for breaking the biggest story of New York Comic Con before we could announce it at the Stan Lee Panel (and the one thing I even held back from this boisterous blog): Yours Truly has made a deal with everyone’s favorite ever lovin’ English entrepreneur, Sir Richard Branson, to oversee his Virgin Comics line!

I hear yah, True Believers. You’re asking, “how does he do it?’ How does your Uncle Stanley plan on overseeing a plethora of comic titles for Virgin while simultaneously following through on all my other recently announced deals: Ultimo with Hiroyuki Takei, the Legend of 5 animated movie for Rainmaker Entertainment, a three-movie-deal with Disney, a sequel to Election Daze and who knows what else... I’ll tell yah how we do it: volume, volume, volume. But I kid, I kid. I plan on tackling all of these peerless projects exactly the same way we did it in the good ol’ days: hire talented folks to write, draw, and pitch ideas while I take the credit for everything!

Geoff "Fermerz Le" Boucher of the L.A. Times even asked Rich “Brassy Ones” Branson if he didn’t think that maybe Yours Truly was a little out-of-touch with today’s comic readers. I’ll show ‘em how in touch your Uncle Stan is with “The Times.” Here comes a lawsuit! I’ve learned a thing or two in my 67 years in the biz. These days, I take the aforementioned formula of writers, artists, and assorted creative folk and add the magic ingredient: lawyers! Scads and scads of lawyers. Lawyers by the ton. Lawyers by the gross, shrink-wrapped on pallets. I’m not kidding. Back at POW! Entertainment headquarters, we got ‘em comin’ in the back by the forklift-load, straight from law school. That’s how you get things dutifully done with delightful delegation in this demented industry! How do you think all these deals happened in the first place? Lawyers. Who set up the meetings? Lawyers. Who brokered the deals? Lawyers. Who are the real super-heroes? Well obviously not the lawyers, but even a super-hero sometimes needs legal representation! Or his creator...

Anyhoo, now that I’ve survived another Comic Con, it’s time to start creating again. I'm thinking that maybe what Virgin Comics really needs is a symbol for frantic fans to flock around... maybe a fabulous fan club? How does the VVVS sound? Hmmm... maybe not. Virginmania? That doesn’t sound right either. Maybe Friends Of Old Virgins? Okay, okay... maybe it’s time to go back to hiring attorneys.

Excelsior!
Smiley

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