ITEM! This weekend I had the privilege of watching a DVD screener of the frankly fabulous, forever ferrous and nearly finished Iron Man Movie! Take Tony Stark for a tiny test flight yourself right here. This is without a dubious doubt the single greatest Merry Marvel Movie to date. I know, I know... your Uncle Stanley has been saying that about every Marvel Movie since The Trial of the Incredible Hulk (ahhh... my very first conspicuous cameo appearance). But this time I mean it. This is the first self-financed flick that Marvel put into production, and it shows in the fantastic final product. We did this one our way, pilgrims.
What’s more, Ol’ Smiley is willing to put his monetary merit where his mandible is. Here’s my peerless prediction: Iron Man is going to have the number one smash box office opening weekend of all time. It’s going to break all the first weekend records set by Spider-Man and most recently by Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest. That means an opening weekend north of $135.6 million! You read it here first, Tiger.
Why is the Smiling One so sensationally certain that this movie is going to be the breakout hit of Summer 2008? 'Cause Robert Downey Jr. took me to lunch at The Grill in Beverly Hills, that's why. But I kid, I kid. The real reason is that though updated for modern audiences, director Jon “Fan Fave” Favreau had the good storytelling sense to stick pretty close to the Golden Avenger’s original story beats. That’s always a good sign in a comic book movie. Ask Sammy Raimi. And when you're cribbing from The Man, so much the better. Wait and see, nebulous Internet naysayers. Mighty Marvel Studios is on the march! This one is for all the studios that turned our characters down over the years, and for all the Frantic Ones that couldn’t understand why the suits always changed our cosmic characters all around for the movies! You’re gonna love this one, I promise. Cross my heart and hope to have my cameo cut!