WHO DO YOU TRUST, PETEY?

ITEM! Well Secret Invasion #1 is out, and I have to say that despite my gregarious grousing about Brian “The Brain” Bendis taking my basic plot from FF #2 and stretching it out into one laborious year-long retcon of the Marvel Universe... not too shabby. And I’m not just saying that because Joe Quesada paid me to. My checks come from Isaac Perlmutter.

As readers can see from the impromptu interview in the back of that book, when pressed by Continuity-Bending Bendis on which Merry Marvel character Yours Truly would make a Skrull, I responded by quipping “Aunt May.” Though said in jovial jest, I’ve since decided to campaign for this calamitous concept because, well, honestly... I’m gettin’ a little cranky in my old age and if these damn kids are gonna keep playing in my old sandbox, the least they could do is let the old man pitch an ingenious idea, or two, or twenty.

There’s a certain synchronous simpatico to the idea, too. After all, Aunt May is only alive because Petey tried to cut a deal with the devil, and we all know how well that usually works out. It would be just like Mephisto to welsh on the deal by bringing Aunt May back to life, only to make her a prisoner on some interstellar Skrull slave ship... cookin' up wheatcakes for Torgo and the boys. I can see it all now. Man alive, a cup of steamin’ Joe and a couple of St. Johns Wort first thing in the morning and the creative ideas just start a flyin’! I may have to save some of this for the Spidey daily strip! Your welcome, Bendis.

Excelsior!

Smiley