This is the one you’ve been waiting for! Don’t let my manic misplaced modifiers put you off, pilgrim. This is Stan the Man here, peerless producer of priceless prose and profound pronouncements, and I’ve decided to take up this boisterous blogging fad. If my gregarious great-grandson has gotten me set up correctly, you should be able to slap your bright-eyed and bushy-tailed peepers on these words moments after I hit the button marked “post.” At least that’s what they tell me.
But wait — why, oh why, you ask, with all that I have to do day-in-and-day-out as the reigning embassador of cultural zeitgeist that was and is Marveldom Assembled, would I want to waste my time sharing my sense shattering and sensational soul-searchings via this shamelessly self-promotional sensory media? Well, faithful follower, I’ll tell you why. My thesaurus needs the practice.
But I kid! I kid! I have a few frivolously funky things that I’d like to get off my chest, and this seems like the ideal venue to air these previously un-prepared ponderings. Here, I can say what I like without having to filter every little thing through my attorneys or run them by my blushing bride Joanie. When you get to be my age and have attained the heady heights of success that I have, you’ll understand what I mean, Marvelite. The lawyers are always on me to not say this or please say that. “You’re in the middle of your third lawsuit with Marvel,” they’ll say, “so for God’s sake please don’t rock the boat or answer any questions that require you to exercise your memory.” Everyone knows that I can’t remember what I had for lunch yesterday, my-as-less who created what/when over 40 fabulous years ago. It’s the perfect defense, I tell them. They don’t see it that way.
And Joan, bless her stand-by-me steadfastness, she watches me like a hawk too. It’s always something to do with whether or not we can afford that fourth Mercedes at the summer house in Cancun.
But there are a few records that I’d like to set straight, and I plan on using this Intraweb jazz to do just that. I’d have done it sooner, but I got my schmeckle schmacked once with this Intraweb stuff, and although Yours Truly was cleared of any and all wrong-doing, I think the SEC is probably still keeping a watchful eye over my shoulder. This bashful, beauteous blog will fly nicely under their rascally radar. Hopefully them and Lisa Kirby. So stay tuned, pilgrim. I'd like to paraphrase our Distinguished Competition at this point ("paraphrase" is an unusually useful euphemism for "steal," by the way, so don't ever say your Uncle Stanley never gave you anything for Christmas)... so from one of their lesser-quality Brand Echh TV shows, "See You Same Stan Time, Same Stan Channel!"