Monday, March 17, 2008

IF I COULD TALK TO THE ARTHROPODS

ITEM! I just got my revised post-writer’s-strike slate of upcoming Merry Marvel Movies and you won’t believe who’s STILL on the list alongside the lengendary likes of Captain America, The Mighty Thor and the Avengers ... Ant-Man!

Avi “Avaricious” Arad and Yours Truly have been round and round about this one, True Believer, and I thought your Uncle Stanley had finally managed to stomp the idea deader than a house ant. But no, the Jaded Juggernaut that is Marvel Entertainment has insisted on dredging up every dubious design of the creative fount that was Lee-Kirby and turning it into a movie. I mean, come on. The Astonishing Ant-Man was a huge comic-book bomb. When not even Jack “King” Kirby and Stan “The Man” Lee, plus four name changes, nine new powers, more costumes than Liberace, and a super-model sidekick could make something a best seller... it’s time to hang up your cybernetic helmet. Not even Joltin’ Joe Louis hit a home run every time at the plate, folks.

And I don’t think your Uncle Stanley has ever heard the basic problem with Ant-Man’s pint-sized premise articulated any better than in this classic skit from a 1979 episode of Saturday Night Live, featuring the Great Garret Morris as Dr. Henry Pym. Best bit: Dan Aykroyd as the Flash warning John Belushi’s Hulk, “Whew! That’s really impressive... size of an ant with full human strength. You must be able to really clean house on those other ants!” Forbush-Man says if you click on this linky thing, you can see it all for yourselves, Fearless Front-Facers. Enjoy!

Excelsior!
Smiley

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